Not a TV show
by Kooshball
Summary: A street kid from Sydney is sucked into the TV show we all know and love... MASH! Final chapter is now up
1. Shoplifter

Izzy glanced around to make sure no one was watching. That digital camera was as good as hers. She snatched it from it's foam bed and ran out of the shop as the owner of the electronics store yelled and began to chase after her. Izzy grinned to herself. Once she was on the streets, no-one could catch her.  
  
Izzy was a tall girl, with very dark blonde hair, cut short and layered. Her eyes were a deep brown colour, and she was meant to wear glasses, but they weren't any good to her on the streets. The eighteen year old was homeless, lived in a park in the suburbs of Sydney. Her father had died before she was born, and her mother had kicked her out of the house at age sixteen when she was found with drugs in her room. They weren't Izzy's, she was just minding them for a friend. She didn't touch the stuff, usually. The girl made her living by stealing things and selling them later on the streets. She didn't have any hobbies, or interests, except for one. M*A*S*H. Every day a five o'clock, she'd go to her best friend's house and watch reruns of the show that had started in the seventies. She loved it, couldn't get enough of it. One day, she told herself every night, I'm going to buy a home, a TV and a DVD player, and every season of M*A*S*H on DVD. Until then, she had to steal things from shops to keep her alive.  
  
Izzy glanced back. The guy who owned the shop she'd just stolen the camera from was gaining on her. He was getting fitter, she'd soon have to find a different place to shop lift, otherwise he might catch her one day. Izzy never went to the bigger stores, they had too many security cameras. Someone stepped in front of the shop owner, and Izzy grinned. A chance to get away. Her skirt flew out behind her as she ran out onto the road. She turned her head, and realised a red Ford was heading right for her. Izzy closed her eyes at it hit her, and she blacked out after hitting the concrete sidewalk. 


	2. Hawkeye?

Izzy was waking up, and feeling like a tonne of bricks had fallen on her head. There were a few people dressed in white standing around her, so she figured she must be in hospital. Two men picked up the stretcher she was in, and took her through to another room. Izzy felt like crying. Her ribs felt smashed in, her legs hurt, and she seemed to be covered in blood. A man came to her side, wearing a white surgical mask. His hands were held out as someone put gloves onto them. There appeared to be blood on his white uniform. Bright blue eyes stared down at Izzy concernedly.  
  
'Put her under, nurse,' the man said. Then he turned to Izzy. 'I'm doctor Pierce. You'll be fine,' he told her.  
  
'Hawkeye?' she asked at the mask was placed over her nose and mouth.  
  
'How does she know my name?' the man asked as Izzy slipped into unconsciousness. 


	3. The 4077th MASH

Izzy woke up, but refused to open her eyes.  
  
'I've been hit by a car and taken to hospital. I wasn't really operated on by Hawkeye Pierce, he's just a TV character. It was all a hallucination, but I'm fine now,' Izzy told herself. Someone walked up to her bed and stood beside her. Izzy opened her eyes slowly to see a tall, dark haired man reading a chart. There was no doubt about it, he was Hawkeye Pierce. But how? M*A*S*H was just a TV show!  
  
'Oh, you're awake. I was a little worried. You were hit by a jeep, you know,' he said, sitting on the empty army cot beside her.  
  
'Where am I?' Izzy asked, realizing her ribs, leg and head still hurt like crazy.  
  
'4077 MASH. Best MASH unit in Korea,' Hawkeye said. Izzy laughed, even though it felt like her ribs were being ripped out slowly.  
  
'No, really, where am I?' she asked.  
  
'You're in Korea,' Hawkeye told her, looking concerned. 'Maybe you landed on your head just a little too hard. Would you like to see a psychiatrist?'  
  
'Uh, no thanks,' Izzy replied, looking around. Maybe this wasn't a joke. Maybe she was really in Korea.  
  
'May I ask you a question?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Yeah, ok,' Izzy said, staring around. They were in the Post-op tent, and she was on the far wall, about in the middle. There weren't many other people in the tent, so she figured everyone else must be right enough to walk to the Mess tent, or back to the front.  
  
'How did you know my name?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Uh. . .' Izzy cast around in her mind for a good excuse. 'A friend recommended you?' she suggested lamely. Hawkeye stared at Izzy, and she moved around uncomfortably, until she moved her leg the wrong way.  
  
'You alright?' Hawkeye asked when she cried out in pain.  
  
'My leg hurts like hell,' Izzy said.  
  
'Fitting. This is hell,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Am I really in Korea?' Izzy asked.  
  
'Where did you think you were?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Sydney,' Izzy replied. Hawkeye looked blank. 'Uh, you know? Australia?' Izzy continued.  
  
'I know, I'm just trying to think how you could have got from Australia to here without your knowing,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Sure you were,' Izzy muttered. 'When will I be better?' she asked out loud.  
  
'A while,' Hawkeye replied. 'But we don't really know what to do with you. You have no dog tags, or any identification. Heck, you're not even in uniform!'  
  
'Yeah, well,' Izzy felt uncomfortable again. Hawkeye shook his head and stood up.  
  
'Get some sleep,' he said. 'A few of the other doctors will be dropping in on you now and then.' Hawkeye walked towards the big double doors which Izzy knew led outside. She stared up at the canvas roof and began to doze off. Korea, of all places. . . 


	4. The FFD

Izzy woke up, and realised it was dark. Someone was moving around at the far end of the room, and many of the cots had people asleep in them. A snide looking man was stalking the cots, and Izzy recognized him immediately. Best not to let on, though.  
  
'Uh, sir? Doctor?' she called to him.  
  
'What?' Frank Burns snapped as he came over. Izzy frowned.  
  
'You don't have to be so mean,' she said.  
  
'You abandoned the US army. You must have dumped your dog tags somewhere and ran. You probably work for the communists,' Frank spat. 'You shouldn't even be here.'  
  
'No, I shouldn't, but not for that reason,' Izzy said. Frank eyed Izzy suspiciously. 'Anyway, I'm not in the army. Never have.'  
  
'The navy, then,' Frank said.  
  
'Nope,' Izzy said.  
  
'Airforce?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'What are you from then?' Frank asked her.  
  
'Uh, the FFD,' Izzy said quickly. FFD really stood for "Five Finger Discount", the name of the group she hung out with, but Frank needn't know that. 'Top secret stuff. Can't tell anyone,' she continued. At least this lie worked better than when she tried to explain how she knew Hawkeye. Frank's eyes widened.  
  
'You're with a Federal agency?' he asked. Izzy shrugged.  
  
'Yeah, why not,' she told him.  
  
'Can I help, please?' Frank asked, his face lit up with joy. Izzy moved back a little.  
  
'NO! No-one is supposed to have even heard of FFD, so keep it quiet,' Izzy told him.  
  
'I'll take it to the grave,' Frank saluted. Izzy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Another man walked in at the same time, and he grinned.  
  
'Bothering the patients again, Frank?' BJ asked.  
  
'That's Major to you!' Frank snapped.  
  
'Ignore him, he hasn't had his afternoon nap. I'm BJ, Hawkeye asked me to come check up on you. He's got his hands full of nurse at the moment,' BJ said.  
  
'Hi,' Izzy said. BJ took the chart from it's hook on the end of the cot as Frank went away.  
  
'We don't have a name written down yet,' BJ said.  
  
'Oh, it's Izzy,' Izzy said quickly. 'Izzy Parker.'  
  
'Hawkeye says you can't remember how you got out here. Says you claim to have been in Australia one moment, here the next, or so how he tells it,' BJ said, writing something on the top of the chart.  
  
'Er. . .' Izzy was stuck for a second.  
  
'It's ok, you were hit pretty hard, and you did land on your head. I'm sure it'll come back sooner or later,' BJ said.  
  
'How long have I been here?' Izzy asked.  
  
'Couple of days. You should be up and walking by yourself in about a week,' BJ said.  
  
'Good,' Izzy said.  
  
'Did you want to get sent home? Back to Australia? Because odds are, you can go home,' BJ told her. Izzy stopped to think. Go home? Now? She had landed in the one place where people were trying to kill her instead of just have her locked away. On the other hand, this was the 4077th, where she knew the people there before they even knew about her.  
  
'I don't have a home,' Izzy replied. 'Maybe I could stay and help out here. You seem to need it.'  
  
'Why don't you have a home?' BJ asked.  
  
'Well, my mother kicked me out of her house, and I never really got a job, seeing as I dropped out of school early,' Izzy explained. 'I lived in a park, and lived from a friends scraps and leftovers. It wasn't a good life. But here, I have a home, regular food, and I'm helping people.'  
  
'I don't know how the Colonel will react,' BJ said slowly.  
  
'Please, just ask him?' Izzy said sweetly. BJ shook his head in disbelief.  
  
'I can't believe I'm going to do this,' he said. 'There should be a nurse come by in a few minutes. Blonde, medium height, usually angry. Her name's Houlihan, so flag her down if you need her,' BJ said as he walked off.  
  
'Thanks,' Izzy called after him. 


	5. No self respecting citizen

'No,' Potter said without looking up.  
  
'I tried,' BJ shrugged, turning to leave.  
  
'What, no begging to let her stay? No asking why not?' the Colonel asked.  
  
'No,' BJ shook his head.  
  
'Hmm. Well, it's a change, I suppose,' Potter said thoughtfully. 'I'll think about it.' BJ grinned and began walking towards the big double swinging doors when Klinger came in, wearing a glittery gown.  
  
'Excuse me, mister, where am I?' Klinger asked. 'One second, I'm in Toledo, the next I'm here.'  
  
'Good try Klinger. No self respecting citizen would wear a dress,' Potter said. Klinger pouted. BJ laughed and left. 


	6. Trades

Potter went to Post op to see Izzy himself.  
  
'You alright?' he asked Izzy.  
  
'I suppose. My head, side and leg hurt, but other than that, I feel alright,' Izzy said.  
  
'You're lucky you weren't killed,' Potter said, sitting on the cot beside her.  
  
'I know,' she replied.  
  
'BJ told me you wanted to stay here, help out,' Potter said. Izzy looked hopeful, and the Colonel almost felt sorry to have to turn her away. 'We're sending you home,' he said.  
  
'I don't have a home, did BJ tell you that?' Izzy asked quickly.  
  
'He did. We're still sending you home,' Potter said. Klinger ran into Post op, now in fatigues.  
  
'Excuse me? Where am I?' he asked, looking thoroughly confused. 'I was walking down main street, and then I found myself here. What happened?'  
  
'KLINGER!' Potter roared, making Izzy and a few other people jump. Klinger stood there unfazed.  
  
'Yes?' he asked.  
  
'Either get back into a dress or stop pretending to not know where you are,' Potter said before getting up and leaving. Klinger's expression didn't change until Potter had left Post op.  
  
'Damn. I thought that would get me out. No offense to you, kid,' Klinger said, quickly looking at Izzy.  
  
'It's ok. I think I heard someone mention a guy trying to get out on a section eight,' Izzy said.  
  
'You really can't remember how you got to Korea?' Klinger asked. Izzy shook her head.  
  
'I don't care that I'm now here, mind you, but it'd be nice to know how it happened,' she said. Izzy grinned. Klinger, one of the funniest characters other than Hawkeye. 'You're good at playing crazy,' she said.  
  
'Not good enough,' Klinger said mournfully.  
  
'If I were Colonel, I would probably would had sent you home ages ago,' Izzy said sincerely. Klinger half smiled.  
  
'Thanks for trying to cheer me up,' he said.  
  
'No, really, I would,' Izzy insisted. Klinger sat down where the Colonel had been.  
  
'I saw the skirt you were wearing,' he said. 'Do you think you could tell me where you got it?'  
  
'Well, I don't think you'd be able to get it,' Izzy said. She'd bought it cheap at Target.  
  
'Oh.' Klinger's face fell.  
  
'I'll tell you what,' Izzy said. 'You get me some fatigues, and I'll give you the skirt. And my sandals if you get me some socks and boots.' Klinger looked thoughtful for a while.  
  
'Alright, but you only came in with one sandal,' Klinger said. 'I'll get you the uniform for the skirt.'  
  
'Agreed,' Izzy grinned. 


	7. Mess in the mess tent

Izzy was being helped into the mess tent by Hawkeye two days later.  
  
'Be warned, the food isn't the best cuisine,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Better than living out of a rubbish bin, I bet,' Izzy replied. She sat down while Hawkeye got a tray of food for her. A man with a black shirt and army jacket sat at the table, at the other end. He muttered something and made a cross with his hands.  
  
'Hello, are you the chaplain here?' Izzy asked, knowing he was.  
  
'Yes, I am,' Father Mulchay said. 'You were the girl who was hit by the jeep, right?' Izzy nodded as Hawkeye got back.  
  
'Here you go. First grade slop,' he said, placing the tray in front of her. Izzy poked it experimentally. On TV, the food was never considered really great, except on special occasions, when someone managed to snag something decent. Spooning something greenish-gray onto her fork, she ate it, chewing carefully and slowly.  
  
'It's not that bad,' she said, swallowing it. 'What did I just eat? It tastes a little like baby peas.'  
  
'It is that bad. You just ate canned broccoli from world war two,' Hawkeye replied.  
  
'Oh,' Izzy said, now feeling a little odd. 'Don't tell me what I'm eating from now on. Ignorance is bliss.' Hawkeye and Father Mulchay smiled at Izzy.  
  
'Izzy, this is Father Mulchay, the camp priest. Father, this is Izzy, she's from Australia,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'G'day from down under, and all that,' Izzy said in an exaggerated Australian accent. Hawkeye grinned as a piece of meat (it could have been either fish or liver) flew threw the air and hit Frank in the face, who'd just walked in the door.  
  
'Who threw that!' he demanded. Izzy glanced around, and noticed the camp cook with a spatula in one hand, laughing. Obviously he had launched the meat from that. 'Tell me who threw that now, or I'll put you all under house arrest!' No-one spoke. Hawkeye got a mischievous look in his blue eyes.  
  
'I'll give you five bucks to fling your mashed potato at him,' he whispered to Izzy, pointing to the sloppy, lumpy mixture in the corner of her tray. What the hell, Izzy thought. I may never get another chance like this. So, grabbing a spoon, Izzy used it as a catapult to send some mashed potato in Frank's direction. The major was splattered with it, and he turned to face their table.  
  
'Pierce! I should have known!' Frank yelled. Suddenly, Izzy felt guilty, and the cook seemed so too.  
  
'He didn't do it, I did,' Izzy explained. 'And anyway, there's nothing you can do to me, because I'm not part of the army.' Hawkeye's face split into a grin when he realised what Izzy was saying was true. Suddenly, someone behind Frank flipped their broccoli at him. When Frank turned to see who did it, more people flung things at him. Frank decided it was best to bid a hasty retreat, and got out the door, soaked from head to toe with sloppy, lumpy food.  
  
'That was fun,' Izzy giggled. Hawkeye laughed.  
  
'Yeah, Frank can be a lot of fun when you want him to be,' he said. 'But other times he's a real pain in the neck.' 


	8. A uniform

'Here, courtesy of Klinger,' BJ handed a brown package to Izzy. Izzy was back in her cot in Post op, as BJ and Hawkeye had convinced the Colonel to stay there a little while longer, to make sure she was fully recovered.  
  
'What is it?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'I think I know what it is, but I'm not sure,' Izzy replied, she opened the package carefully, and her heart went faster as she saw the khaki green jacket poking out of it.  
  
'Why'd Klinger give you that?' BJ asked.  
  
'Klinger doesn't wear fatigues. So he's giving them to her,' Hawkeye explained, joking.  
  
'Actually, we're doing a swap,' Izzy said. Hawkeye was a little stunned that he was right, but he recovered quickly.  
  
'What, your pass home for the uniform?' he asked.  
  
'My skirt, actually,' Izzy replied. BJ laughed.  
  
'You're really keen on staying, aren't you?' he asked. Izzy nodded enthusiastically.  
  
'It's like I've known you guys for years,' she said. 


	9. Radar

'Hi,' Radar looked up as he passed Izzy's cot. He flicked through the bag on his shoulder. 'I'm sorry, there's no mail for you,' he said, looking truly sorry for Izzy.  
  
'It's ok, Radar, I didn't expect getting any while in here anyway,' Izzy replied. Radar, she thought. He's a nice kid, wonder if he still has a few of his animals wandering around.  
  
'Actually, I do have some animals left,' Radar said. 'Major Burns keeps telling me to get rid of them, but I could never let them go.' It took Izzy a few seconds to realise what Radar was talking about.  
  
'You can tell what people are thinking, I forgot!' she burst out.  
  
'This is the first time I've met you. How could you know I can tell what people are thinking? And how did you know my name?' Radar frowned.  
  
'Look, it's a little hard to explain. You wouldn't believe me if I told you,' Izzy said. 'But do you think you could do something for me?'  
  
'What?' Radar asked suspiciously.  
  
'I want to join the 4077. Can you get the Colonel to sign something saying I've joined the army or something?' Izzy asked.  
  
'Only if you promise to explain how you knew my name,' Radar said.  
  
'After I'm part of the army,' Izzy said.  
  
'Agreed.' Radar lent over and shook Izzy's hand.  
  
'And try not to see what I'm thinking!' Izzy shouted to him as he hurried to his office. 


	10. The Swamp

Izzy was wandering around the compound. She had been told she was leaving in a weeks time, and she decided to make the most of it, in case Radar couldn't pull off her scheme to join the army. She was dressed in her new uniform, Klinger reassured her he had never wore it, and given up her skirt, which the small dark haired man had made a few slight alterations to so it fitted. Radar had introduced her to his animals, which she loved. As a city kid, she never had much room at home for pets. Izzy couldn't help smiling as she wandered around. Hawkeye had offered to help her find her way around, but she told him she didn't need it. After all, she knew the camp better than the back of her hand, although no-one knew it. She'd seen the supply room, the OR, the mess tent, and the showers. The one place Izzy wanted to see now was the Swamp. She walked over, and peered through the see through canvas. Hawkeye and BJ were there, sipping martini's from glasses. Neither had noticed her yet. Izzy knocked on the door.  
  
'Come in,' Hawkeye said, looking up. Izzy opened the door a little and peered in cautiously to make sure Frank wasn't there. Odds were he wouldn't allow her into the Swamp.  
  
'Hello, Izzy. What brings you here?' BJ asked.  
  
'Just looking,' Izzy replied.  
  
'Come sit down and talk to us,' Hawkeye said. Izzy entered the tent and moved towards the two men. Hawkeye was stretched out on his cot, and BJ was sitting on a crate, with a letter in one hand.  
  
'Can I have one of those?' Izzy asked, pointing to the glass in Hawkeye's hand. She had never drunk before, but she was dying to try something from the Still.  
  
'How old are you?' BJ asked.  
  
'Eighteen,' Izzy replied.  
  
'You still have another three years to go,' Hawkeye said, taking a sip from his glass.  
  
'In Australia, the legal drinking age is eighteen,' Izzy said indignantly.  
  
'We're not in Australia,' Hawkeye pointed out.  
  
'And we're not in America, either,' Izzy countered.  
  
'Touché,' BJ said. Hawkeye handed his glass to Izzy.  
  
'Try it first before we pour you a full glass,' he told Izzy. The girl sipped it experimentally, and almost retched.  
  
'It's. . . revolting,' she gasped as Hawkeye took the glass away from her.  
  
'Means you won't be tempted to take up drinking. Your liver will thank you later,' BJ said. Izzy nodded.  
  
'Would you like something to wash the taste out?' Hawkeye asked. Izzy nodded again.  
  
'Here, my wife just sent these. They're a little stale, but still edible,' BJ handed a box to Izzy. Inside were chocolate biscuits. Izzy took one and bit into it thankfully. Apart from the staleness, they were very nice biscuits.  
  
'So tell us about yourself, Izzy,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Not much to tell,' Izzy said around a mouthful of biscuit. 'I'm eighteen, left home and school when I was fifteen and have been on the streets since. I was hit by a car in Sydney, and woke up here.' Hawkeye and BJ glanced at each other, like they didn't believe Izzy's story, but she didn't care. It was the truth. 'What about you?' she asked. 'Where are you from? What are your family's from home like?' First Hawkeye described Crabapple cove to Izzy, then BJ talked a little about Peg, his wife, and their young daughter.  
  
'Why do you want to stay here?' BJ asked after they finished talking about home.  
  
'I don't know,' Izzy replied. Because I've always dreamed of being here, and now I am here, I don't want to leave, she thought to herself.  
  
'It's a hell hole, you'd be better off going home,' Hawkeye said 'But still, it'd be interesting to have you around.' Izzy yawned.  
  
'I might go back to Post op. I'm tired and still sore,' she said. She left the Swamp, but stopped after circling the tent to hear what BJ and Hawkeye would talk about. She crouched down on their blind side, careful not to wreak the uniform Klinger had given her, and listened. 


	11. Don't get attached

'She's an interesting kid, hey?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Seems nice enough. Maybe a little loony if she really thinks she just appeared here,' BJ replied. He stared at Hawkeye for a little bit. 'Don't get too attached to her, Hawk,' he warned.  
  
'Attached to who?' Hawkeye pretended not to know what BJ was talking about.  
  
'Izzy,' BJ said.  
  
'I like her, that's all. Not in that way, of course,' Hawkeye added hastily.  
  
'I know,' BJ reassured his tent mate. 'But you know what war is like. She could be blinded by a bit of shrapnel, or have to have her leg amputated because of an infected wound.'  
  
'Assuming she has to come back from an injury,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'She may not come back at all,' BJ said.  
  
'So you think she'll probably be shot out of the sky, like Henry?' Hawkeye said angrily.  
  
'I never said that, you know I didn't,' BJ said, lifting his hands up to show he didn't mean anything. 'All I'm saying is that you shouldn't get to close to anyone here, because something could happen. Like Trapper being sent home.'  
  
'Sorry, BJ,' Hawkeye said. 'I guess I overreacted. We should have some fun with Izzy before she goes home, get her to help us with a prank on the majors, or something.'  
  
'Good idea,' BJ said, pouring himself a gin. 'Top up your martini?'  
  
'Yes please.'  
  
There was quiet for a few minutes.  
  
'Let's try and get the Colonel to let her stay.'  
  
'Hawkeye. . .'  
  
'Yeah?'  
  
'I tried. He refused, and it's for Izzy's own good.'  
  
'Come on, BJ!' Hawkeye got up from his cot.  
  
'No,' the other man replied. Hawkeye sighed.  
  
'I know, it's stupid. But I don't think she should have to go if she doesn't want.'  
  
'It's ok, Hawk. She'll be fine. Safe. Happy. Probably won't even remember us,' BJ said soothingly.  
  
'I'm going to sleep,' Hawkeye said, laying back down on the cot after putting his glass beside the Still. He turned the light off and rolled over so he was facing the canvas wall.  
  
'Good night, Hawkeye,' BJ said. Hawkeye just grunted. BJ got up and walking to his cot. He turned the light above his bed off and settled down to sleep.  
  
As quietly as possible, Izzy got up and walked back to Post op. 


	12. A prank

It was a cool night. Frank sidled up to Margaret's door, and knocked. Someone knocked back, and Frank gave the password knock, to let Margaret know it was him. The door was flung open, and Frank moved in quickly, in case he was seen. The two embraced as soon as the door was closed, and Izzy couldn't help but roll her eyes. She, Hawkeye and BJ were planning something for Frank and Margaret's date. Hawkeye had invited Izzy along, and the girl had agreed, an evil look creeping onto her face when Hawkeye suggested it. She had one or two adjustments to the plan, but it was still going to be hell on both majors.  
  
Izzy and Margaret didn't get on well. The first time they met, Izzy didn't salute the major.  
  
'Don't you know you have to salute a superior officer?' Margaret had snapped.  
  
'I'm not an officer, or in the army. So therefore, I don't have to salute you,' Izzy replied. Margaret had complained to the Colonel about it, but Izzy was right. She didn't have to salute Margaret if she didn't want to.  
  
'Those two degenerates, and that kid were in the Swamp about an hour before, drinking gin,' Frank said as the two pulled away.  
  
'They shouldn't be allowed near that girl, giving her bad habits,' Margaret growled. I've always had my bad habits, Izzy thought, but she stayed quiet, waiting.  
  
'Pierce and Hunnicutt were telling her that I was a commie, of all things!' Frank sounded indignant at being called a communist.  
  
'There, there, Frank,' Margaret soothed. 'It doesn't matter what she thinks, she'll be leaving in six days.' Frank remembered Izzy telling him she was part of the FFD, but didn't mention it to Margaret. Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the tent door. Two tall men with MP helmets walked in. They were, of course, Hawkeye and BJ, but it the candle light, Margaret and Frank couldn't recognise them.  
  
'We were told there was a communist in camp. We've been given orders to search the whole camp,' Hawkeye said in a low voice.  
  
'Well, there aren't any in here! Get out!' Margaret screeched. The two men turned to leave, but there was a thumping from Margaret's cupboard. BJ went over and opened it, making Izzy tumble out. She was tied and gagged, and looking very scared. BJ took the gag out of Izzy's mouth.  
  
'Those two are communists!' she said, tears going down her face. 'They were in the supply room when I heard them talking. I was caught, and they tied me up and put me in here. They were talking about how they were going to kill me!' Hawkeye and BJ turned to the two Majors.  
  
'This is outrageous! We are both army officers, and proud of it! This girl, she's just some little urchin!' Margaret said.  
  
'I'm afraid this doesn't look good, ma'am. We'll have to take you to Seoul for questioning,' Hawkeye said. The looks on the Major's faces made Izzy crack up. She couldn't help it. Laughing, she untied the slip knots around her wrists, and was helped up by BJ. The two surgeons took their helmet's off and grinned at the two stunned Majors.  
  
'Oh, you. . . guys!' Frank snarled. Margaret screamed, and began to hit out at Hawkeye, BJ and Izzy. All three ran from the tent as the angry major began to throw things at them out the door. 


	13. Deceseased

'Pssst!' Radar looked around before hissing again. 'Pssst! Izzy!' Izzy woke up with a jump. She had been dreaming that she had somehow been sucked into the M*A*S*H TV show.  
  
Wait, that was real.  
  
'Radar? What is it?' she asked, trying to get out of her cot. Finally, she fell to the floor with a loud thump. Radar winced at the noise. He didn't want the nurse on duty to wake up. Luckily, she was a heavy sleeper.  
  
'I need you for a minute,' Radar whispered. Izzy nodded, and pulled on her jacket. Following Radar outside after pulling on her army boots, she shivered. Stupid cold weather.  
  
'What is it?' Izzy asked.  
  
'I need you to fill out this form, Army requirements,' Radar said, thrusting a form under her nose. 'I didn't want anyone to know that you were joining. They'd tell the Colonel and he'd stop you from going.'  
  
'Thanks, Radar,' Izzy said, looking at the form. Name, Mother, Father, Hair, Eyes, Height, Weight, all pretty basic stuff. Izzy suddenly giggled at the memory of an early episode of M*A*S*H. Hawkeye and Trapper were creating a file for a "Captain Tuttle".  
  
'What's so funny?' Radar asked suspiciously.  
  
'Nothing,' Izzy replied. She filled in the form, but was stuck when it came to her parents. Under their names, she printed in bold letters "DECEASED ".  
  
'Is that it?' she asked. Radar nodded.  
  
'It'll be valid before you go, if I pull some strings,' Radar said.  
  
'Will you pull strings?' Izzy asked.  
  
'You betcha,' Radar replied, grinning shyly. 'By the way,' Radar pulled on Izzy's arm as she turned back to the Post op ward. 'I thought you'd like to know Hawkeye asked Potter if you could stay. The answer was no, but Hawkeye still won't accept it.'  
  
'Really?' Izzy asked, touched. Radar nodded.  
  
'I didn't tell him what you're doing though,' Radar added.  
  
'Thanks,' Izzy said gratefully. Potter might get suspicious if Hawkeye stopped pestering him about her. She went back to Post op and was asleep again, fifteen minutes later.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
NB. Please tell me what you want to happen to Izzy. I know that she's going to share a few secrets with some of the people at the 4077, and she'll be helping where she can. Some of her past will be useful a few times to the camp. Please tell me what you think of these ideas, and submit a few of your own if you want. ;)  
  
Oh, and a note to Hawkeyelover2004 if you're reading this, thanks for all the reviews, and "The Black Kat" was my first fic. I had begun to really get into MASH when Frank was replaced by Charles, so I guess I was annoyed with him still to make him an evil character.  
  
Another note to whoever submitted a review about the legal drinking age in America. I know drinking ages in America vary from state to state (They're usually 18 or 21), but assumed back then the legal age would be 21. I'll research my facts a little better next time. 


	14. Suicide is Painless

Izzy walked into the mess tent, whistling the theme song to M*A*S*H.  
  
'Will you cut out that stupid noise!' Frank snapped.  
  
'Interesting tune. What is it called?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'"Suicide is Painless". You wouldn't know it,' Izzy grinned. She was in a good mood today. Radar was going to get the Colonel to sign the final forms for her to join the army today.  
  
'Thank goodness you go back to Austria today,' Frank said.  
  
'That's Australia, you idiot,' Izzy said, feeling low. She forgot today was the day she was due to get into a chopper and go home. Radar better get that form in quick.  
  
'Whatever,' Frank said, turning back to his meal. Suddenly, the PA system crackled into life.  
  
'Izzy to the Colonel's office,' the announcement said. Izzy stood up. Hawkeye and BJ stood up as well.  
  
'We'll come with you. In case it's important,' BJ said. Izzy smiled and began walking towards Potter's office. The colonel groaned when he saw who was following her.  
  
'I don't recall asking for Izzy and her fan group,' he grumbled. 'Sit down anyway, you'll find out soon enough why I called her in anyway.' The three of them sat and Izzy's palms felt sweaty.  
  
'What's up, Colonel?' Hawkeye asked. Potter threw a folder in front of them. Hawkeye and BJ picked it up and opened it. Both men began laughing.  
  
'Do either of you know about this?' Potter asked.  
  
'No,' BJ said truthfully. 'How'd she pull it off?' He glanced over at Izzy when he said it.  
  
'Radar shoved a whole stack of papers under my nose and told me to sign them. Told me they were order forms for surgical gowns, even thought we don't need 'em,' Potter replied. Hawkeye looked towards Izzy.  
  
'This is amazing. Why didn't you tell us?' he asked. Turning back to the Colonel, Hawkeye asked 'Is it valid?'  
  
'Yep. From this moment on, Izzy is a member of the American Army, even though she's from Australia,' Potter said. Izzy tried to look innocent, but the grin she was trying to hide burst through.  
  
'Thank you, sir,' she said, saluting. She, BJ and Hawkeye walked out of his office and began heading towards the Swamp.  
  
'This deserves a celebration. Teach us that tune you were whistling and we'll annoy Frank all night tonight,' Hawkeye said. 


	15. Private Izzy Parker

'What are you still doing here? You were to be shipped home!' Frank yelled at breakfast the next morning. The major wasn't happy that morning, Hawkeye and BJ had kept him awake all night with that infernal tune Izzy had been whistling yesterday, and now the girl was sitting with his two tent mates, when she was supposed to be halfway back home.  
  
'I have been shipped home,' Izzy replied. 'Korea is now my home. Until the war ends of course.' Colonel Potter walked into the tent at that moment, and Frank went to complain to him.  
  
'That girl was meant to be home by now!' Frank said.  
  
'No, she's part of the army,' Potter replied.  
  
'What?' Frank yelled.  
  
'I signed her papers yesterday,' Potter added.  
  
'But it takes weeks for all that to be organised,' Frank said, slightly more calm.  
  
'What, you think I've been sitting around doing nothing the whole time I've been here?' Izzy asked.  
  
'That's enough,' Potter said, knowing it turn into a huge fight if he didn't step in. Izzy turned smugly back to Hawkeye and BJ as Frank and the colonel went to get their breakfasts. BJ and Hawkeye laughed.  
  
'You sure gave Frank a run for his money,' BJ said.  
  
'How about I send him for a longer run? Maybe to North Korea,' Izzy suggested.  
  
'Silly kid,' Hawkeye said, laughing. Izzy glanced over to were Frank was now going. He sat beside Margaret, and by the expression on his face, he was telling her about the unfairness of Izzy having to stay. Margaret got a strange look of pleasure on her face, and walked away from Frank, while he was in mid sentence. She came up to Izzy and sneered down at her.  
  
'Now you're part of the army, you have to salute me, because I'm a superior officer,' Margaret said with a hint of triumph.  
  
'How do you know you're the superior? You don't know my rank, yet,' Izzy said.  
  
'Izzy made Lieutenant Colonel, didn't you know, Major? You have salute her,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Oh what utter tripe,' Margaret scoffed, but Izzy saw a flicker of uncertainty cross the Major's face.  
  
'I'll let it slide this time, Major, but next time I expect a salute, without reminding!' Izzy exclaimed. Margaret frowned and went back to Frank. Izzy turned and grinned at Hawkeye and BJ again. 'How long until she works out I'm only a private?' Izzy asked.  
  
'I'll give it two minutes,' BJ said.  
  
'Three days,' Hawkeye said. 'Plus.'  
  
'An hour,' Izzy said. All three turned as Potter walked past the Majors. Margaret asked him something they couldn't hear, and Potter stopped to reply. When he had continued on to sit at an empty table, Margaret caught Izzy's eye and smiled the way a cartoon lion might when he has a rabbit or something cornered.  
  
'Well, I guess I win,' BJ said, but Izzy could tell he was disappointed. It would have been fun to get Margaret to salute her every time they saw each other.  
  
'Come on, Private Izzy Parker,' Hawkeye said, standing up. 'Let's go back to the Swamp and hide Frank's bible.'  
  
'Right behind you, Hawkeye,' Izzy grinned. It felt good to be a part of the 4077th, it really did, even though now she could get into trouble for the mischief she caused. 


	16. Shot in the dark

'I don't think it's a good idea to give her a gun. She's only eighteen,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'I want to pull my weight around camp. What would be the point of me if I couldn't help?' Izzy argued. Izzy had said she'd try her hand at guard duty with Klinger, but Hawkeye was against it.  
  
'I'll look after her, sir, I promise,' Klinger said. 'First sign of danger and I'll put her in the nearest tent, outta harm's way.' Hawkeye still looked reluctant.  
  
'I want you to report to me every two hours, wake me up if I'm asleep, or BJ,' he said to Izzy. The girl nodded.  
  
'I will,' she promised. Hawkeye walked back to the Swamp, and Klinger got two guns out from the gun safe. He handed Izzy a rifle, and then checked his own.  
  
'Make sure it's working properly, and keep the safety on,' he instructed. He showed Izzy the basics of the gun, but Izzy didn't need to be told. Her ex boyfriend had signed her up at a gun club, and she was able to use about three different types of guns, rifle being one of them.  
  
'Now,' Klinger said, 'we walk around the compound, stopping everyone we see and we ask for the password. It's "Australia" tonight.' Izzy grinned. Everyone seemed happy she was staying in camp, except for the two majors.  
  
'Got it,' Izzy said. The two walked around the compound for a while, when Klinger glanced at his watch.  
  
'You're ten minutes late for telling Hawkeye you're ok,' he said. Izzy ran to the Swamp quickly and opened the door. As soon as he saw her, Hawkeye leapt up from his cot.  
  
'I was worried,' he said, checking her over.  
  
'I'm fine, stop worrying,' Izzy said. The way Hawkeye worried over her like a mother annoyed Izzy, but it flattered her as well. She left and Hawkeye settled back on his cot. His nerves were shot, the martini's didn't seem to be helping at all. Suddenly, there was a gun shot. He leapt up again, spilling martini all over the floor, and he ran outside. Klinger was standing by the showers, looking pale, smoke spiraling up from the end of his gun. Izzy was on the ground, twenty metres away and holding her side.  
  
'It's not what it looks like,' Klinger began.  
  
'She better be alright, for your sake,' Hawkeye growled.  
  
'It wasn't Klinger,' Izzy said, gasping. 'There was a man, he cut my side, Klinger scared him away.' Together, Klinger and Hawkeye helped Izzy to pre op. Hawkeye lifted her shirt a little to see the blood flowing from her side.  
  
'Is she gonna be ok?' Klinger asked worriedly. He still looked pale.  
  
'It's minor. Good thing you were there, and sorry about threatening you,' Hawkeye said. Klinger shrugged. He was used to threats. He got them from Major Houlihan, and Major Burns all the time, not to mention the ones from the Colonel.  
  
'I gotta get back to guard duty. Take care of her, Hawkeye,' Klinger said, swinging his gun onto his shoulder. He left, and Izzy looked down at her side. The blood made her feel sick and frightened.  
  
'Who'd want to kill me?' she asked Hawkeye, her brown eyes wide with fear. 


	17. The FDD Again

'Guess who dropped into my office last night, with a bloody hand,' Colonel Potter asked.  
  
'Who?' BJ said.  
  
'Flagg.'  
  
'Flagg?' Izzy pretended to be puzzled. 'Who's Flagg?' Inside she was cursing. Flagg could be mean and stupid, not a good combination.  
  
'A guy who's always on the look out for Communist sympathizers,' Hawkeye explained. 'He's a screwball.'  
  
'That's Special Services Screwball to you,' Flagg said, stepping into the Swamp. His right hand was bandaged up, a red stain on it. BJ, Hawkeye and Izzy glanced at each other.  
  
'Well guess what happened to us last night,' Hawkeye said brightly.  
  
'What?' Potter asked. He didn't feel up to guessing games.  
  
'Izzy got cut and Klinger shot at the guy who did it,' BJ said. Potter looked over at Flagg.  
  
'You never did tell me who shot you. Is it true you're trying to cut up my personnel?' he asked him.  
  
'I'd like to speak to Private Parker alone,' Flagg said. Izzy's stomach jumped. Alone? He could try and kill her! Potter left, but Hawkeye and BJ stayed put.  
  
'Alone,' Flagg repeated.  
  
'This is our tent, you'll have to leave the Swamp,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'And I'm not leaving it,' Izzy added. She moved closer to the two surgeons.  
  
'I order you two captains to leave,' Flagg said.  
  
'Why, Colonel? Whatever you say to Izzy, you can say to us as well,' Hawkeye said. Flagg growled in his throat, but made no move to leave.  
  
'Major Burns tells me you're part of a Secret service. The FFD,' he said. BJ and Hawkeye laughed.  
  
'You're kidding me? She's just a kid, why would she be part of a secret service?' BJ asked.  
  
'I'm part of the FFD as well,' Flagg said to Izzy.  
  
'You can't be,' Izzy said.  
  
'Why not?' Flagg asked.  
  
Because I made it up, Izzy thought, but she thought of a better idea.  
  
'What's it stand for then?' Izzy asked. Flagg glanced at Hawkeye and BJ.  
  
'I can't reveal that information in front of these two,' he said.  
  
'That's because you don't know, and you're not part of it. The only reason I told Frank that I was part of the FFD because he wouldn't get off my back,' Izzy said.  
  
'Then you work for the North Koreans?' he asked.  
  
'No!' Izzy yelled. 'I was a normal girl, until I joined the army about three days ago. Will you leave me alone?' Flagg left, but turned as he reached the door.  
  
'I'm not through with this,' he said.  
  
'We're sure you're not,' Hawkeye said. 


	18. Dogtags

Sorry for the problems last time. Here's the real chapter 18!  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
'Here are your dogtags,' Hawkeye said, handing a chain with two flat oval disks on it to Izzy.  
  
'Thanks,' Izzy said, her stomach doing back flips. This felt like the final item to make her army.  
  
'The Colonel wants to find somewhere for you to sleep. You can't stay in Post op for the rest of the war,' BJ said as she put the chain around her neck.  
  
'Were are you going to put me?' Izzy asked. She knew odds were she'd end up in the Nurse's tent.  
  
'Radar's asking around for spare canvas. You'll have a tent to yourself,' Hawkeye said. Izzy grinned. A tent to herself was better than sharing with other people.  
  
'What are we going to do about the Federal agent guy?' Izzy asked, looking at her new dogtags. They weren't as tarnished as Hawkeye's and BJ's, but felt like they were a part of her life already.  
  
'Maybe we could start a rumour that there are communists in Russia,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Come on, be serious, I don't feel safe with him watching my every move,' she said. Her hand strayed to her tags and she fidgeted with them. 'One of the nurses found him in the latrines, seeing if I had any secret cables going into North Korea.' Hawkeye snickered.  
  
'Yeah, he'll do that,' he said.  
  
'If you're not going to help, I'll get rid of him myself,' Izzy said, turning around and walking away. She expected Hawkeye and BJ to chase after her and hatch a scheme with her to get rid of Flagg, but they didn't. Izzy was disappointed. She always did it to get her own way and this was the first time it didn't work. Well, she'd just have to get rid of Flagg herself then, like she had said. First things first, she went to find Radar.  
  
'You still haven't told me how you knew my name,' Radar reminded her when he saw her.  
  
'I know,' Izzy promised. 'I need your help to get rid of Flagg.'  
  
'Tell me how you knew my name,' Radar demanded.  
  
'Uh. . .' Izzy was stuck. 'Can I trust you not to tell a soul?' she asked. Radar nodded. 'I'm from the year 2003. It may sound like I'm making this up, but this MASH unit is really part of a TV show. Obviously it's not now, but it was. I don't know how I got here, because it's not possible. But at the moment, I have bigger things to worry about,' Izzy explained.  
  
'You are nuts,' Radar said, turning away. 'This unit is not a TV show.'  
  
'It's true,' Izzy said. 'Believe me or not, it's true. Now can you please help me with Flagg?' Radar looked thoughtful.  
  
'Alright,' he said. 'What do I need to do?' 


	19. A plan in action

'Flagg, I've thought about it a lot, and I want to help you,' Izzy said. Flagg's mouth fell open, and it stayed open until he remembered government agents weren't meant to get shocked.  
  
'I thought you'd see it my way,' he said eventually. Izzy nodded.  
  
'I'll tell you about the FFD and all the communists we've tracked down. Our facilities are limited, so we're handing them over to you. No doubt Radar has told you I've been in touch with them, since you have such authority here,' Izzy explained. Flagg felt pride welling up inside him, despite his training.  
  
'Where shall we meet?' Flagg asked.  
  
'Rosie's. I've managed to have the backroom saved for us, so we can have some privacy,' Izzy said. Flagg looked thoughtful. Izzy hoped for her sake he wasn't thinking she was a prostitute. She knew one, and the job had ruined the girl's life.  
  
'Twenty one hundred would be the best time. Everyone in there will be drunk,' Flagg said. Izzy nodded and got up from the table in the mess tent. She glanced around, and sat with the enlisted men.  
  
'Did you find one big enough?' Izzy asked Radar.  
  
'Yeah,' the clerk replied. 'And we found the ether as well.'  
  
'Good,' Izzy said. 'I want to get him under as soon as possible. He creeps me out.'  
  
'Don't worry, we're there if he tries anything,' Klinger said, referring to when Flagg had attacked Izzy in the compound. Izzy nodded and began fidgeting with her dogtags. She felt nervous. What if her plan didn't work? What if he came back a few weeks later?  
  
'You ok?' Radar asked.  
  
'Yeah, fine,' Izzy said, shaking herself. 'Klinger, get everyone ready before nine tonight, I mean, twenty one hundred. I don't want this to go longer than it needs to.'  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy stood up hurriedly when she heard someone approaching the back room of Rosie's bar.  
  
'Flagg has just come in. You want me to bring him in here?' Rosie asked.  
  
'Yes please. And bring me a glass of water,' Izzy said. Rosie left and Izzy sat down again. Her mouth was dry and she was full of nerves. She couldn't see properly, and she hoped Flagg would be too intent on finding out about the FFD to worry about his surroundings.  
  
'Mr Flagg here now,' Rosie said, leading the man into the room. His face looked like he'd been sucking a lemon, and Izzy felt sick. 'Your water,' Rosie said pleasantly. Izzy took it gratefully, and was about to take a sip, when something a friend had warned her about hit her.  
  
'Never accept a drink at a party, and never leave your drink out of your sight for a second. If you don't know where it came from, or if anyone's been near it, don't touch it. Someone could have slipped something into it.'  
  
Could Flagg have put something into her drink while Rosie led him here? It was possible, and she wasn't going to risk it. Flagg did look a little annoyed when Izzy put her glass onto the table, untouched.  
  
'Thank you, Rosie. You can go now,' Izzy said. Flagg sat down as the Korean woman left.  
  
'Spill the beans. Who are the FFD?' Flagg demanded.  
  
'You told me you were part of them,' Izzy said. 'I thought you knew.'  
  
'You know I don't know the FFD!' Flagg yelled.  
  
'Calm down, have a drink,' Izzy said, pointing to another glass on the table.  
  
'Why aren't you having any?' Flagg asked suspiciously.  
  
'I'm only eighteen. I'm not due to be drinking for another three years,' Izzy explained. Flagg picked up the scotch and drunk slowly. Suddenly, he tipped back, knocked out from the ether soaked lemon slice on the edge. From another door, came Klinger, Radar, and five other enlisted men. Between them, they carried a large crate with holes in the top of it.  
  
'This is crazy,' Klinger said.  
  
'Yeah, but hopefully it'll work,' Izzy said, trying to lift Flagg up into the crate. She was helped, and Radar nailed the lid shut.  
  
'Maybe we shoulda left out the air holes,' one man said.  
  
'Tempting, but I don't want a man's life on my hands. Not yet, anyway,' Izzy replied.  
  
'What if he comes back?' Igor asked.  
  
'Hopefully the ether will make him forget that I'm here. If he comes back again, I'll just hide,' Izzy said. They slid the crate out of Rosie's and lifted it into the back of a truck.  
  
'We're all good!' Izzy yelled to the driver. The man saluted and drove off.  
  
'Thanks,' Izzy said, turning to all the men. But they weren't looking at her, they were watching one of their comrades, who'd just taken a sip from Izzy's water and passed out.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Just a quick thank you to my friend, Sarah, although she doesn't even watch MASH, for giving me the idea of how to get rid of Flagg. :) 


	20. Rid of Flagg

'You got rid of Flagg?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'I told you I would if you didn't,' Izzy replied.  
  
'We would have helped,' BJ said.  
  
'I got the enlisted men to help. It went perfectly,' Izzy grinned. She explained to the two surgeons what she'd done, while they just sat there, gawking at her.  
  
'You mailed him away?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Yep, just stuck him in a crate with a few cans of food from World War one, and put a stamp on,' Izzy said.  
  
'Where is he heading?' BJ asked, grinning at the craziness of it all.  
  
'Well, there were a few choices. North Korea, or Russia,' Izzy said.  
  
'Where is he going to end up?' Hawkeye prodded.  
  
'I sent him back to the states. He's going by ship, so it'll take him a while,' Izzy replied.  
  
'You're crazy,' BJ said.  
  
'I try,' Izzy smiled, shrugging. 'It was scary though. I think he slipped a sleeping drug in my drink. One of the enlisted men drank it and was out cold in a second.' Hawkeye paled when he heard that.  
  
'Never try and get rid of someone again without us,' he said. Izzy nodded. Then Hawkeye smiled again. 'Where did you get the idea for it?' he asked.  
  
'A movie,' Izzy replied. 'You probably haven't heard of it.'  
  
'I'm sick of you saying that!' BJ yelled, but he was grinning at the same time. 'Every time you mention something, you tell us we probably haven't heard of it. Try us for once, ok?'  
  
'Uh,' Izzy was stuck. She wasn't going to tell them she was from the year 2003, and the movie she'd got the idea from was called "Mouse Hunt", filled with actors that hadn't even born yet. 'You see, I can't remember where I got all those ideas. It has something to do with me not being able to remember how I got to Korea. . .' Izzy looked up at Hawkeye and BJ. They weren't really buying it. Considering how many lies she'd had to come up with, she should have been pretty good at coming up with instant lies. There was a knock on the Swamp's door, making Hawkeye and BJ take their gaze off of the relieved Izzy.  
  
'Got some canvas for a tent for Private Izzy,' Radar said through the mesh.  
  
'Now I need someone to put it up for me!' Izzy said brightly. There were half annoyed glances at Izzy, but the two men got up without grumbling.  
  
'Alright then, hurry up,' Hawkeye said to Izzy over his shoulder.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Note: I'm still on the look out for ideas, so please tell me in your reviews what you want to happen to Izzy! 


	21. Izzy's New Tent

Izzy now had a tent to herself, on the outskirts of camp. It wasn't very big, a little smaller than Hotlips' tent. She'd been given a spare cot, and a footlocker, though she had nothing to put in it, except the shirt she'd come in, and her one sandal. Other than that, her tent seemed very empty.  
  
'You can buy things to put in it later,' Hawkeye said as the three of them looked around.  
  
'Maybe you can ask whoever goes on leave next to get you something,' BJ suggested. Izzy nodded. She didn't mind the emptiness much, but it reminded her of her old life in Sydney. Once or twice she'd rented out a house for a week or more, and they all looked like this. A mattress she'd borrowed from a friend, and a suitcase of stolen things. Thinking of her life in Sydney made her wonder how she's cope if she was suddenly sent back, she didn't want to be out of practise when she was living on the streets again.  
  
'Come on, dinner time,' Hawkeye said, gently pulling Izzy out of her new home. They walked towards the mess tent, Izzy still deep in thought. She's best keep in touch with her shoplifting skills, just to be on the safe side. She wasn't the eleventh most sought after thief in Sydney for nothing.  
  
'You ok, Izzy? You haven't said a lot,' BJ said concernedly. Izzy shook her head slightly to clear her thoughts, and realised she was standing in the queue to be served, a few feet to the left of Hawkeye, and an angry bunch of nurses waiting for her to move forwards.  
  
'I'm fine,' Izzy said to BJ. A few tables behind them, Izzy heard Radar drop his knife and fork.  
  
'Incoming wounded!' he said through a mouthful of food. He swallowed quickly, and repeated himself more loudly. 'INCOMING!' Hawkeye and BJ groaned, and put their trays down before running out. Klinger noticed Izzy looking a little lost by herself and grabbed her arm.  
  
'Come on, stick with me and I'll look after you,' he said, taking her outside. Ambulances had already arrived, and they were being unloaded quickly.  
  
'Klinger! Izzy! Get this one into pre op now!' Potter yelled. Izzy followed Klinger to a man on a stretcher and Izzy picked up one end. Izzy almost dropped her end when she saw the boy she was carrying. He must have been a few years older than her, with blond hair now turned red and black from blood and dirt.  
  
'Come on, Izzy, ignore the blood,' Klinger said through gritted teeth. It must have been hell for him as well. Izzy helped Klinger take the soldier inside.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Once the doctors had scrubbed up and began cutting up the men on the tables, Izzy ran out and was violently sick in the bushes outside of camp. She'd managed to not think about what she was doing until the doctors had little use for her, but she still felt upset that she had such a weak stomach.  
  
'Are you alright, my child?' Father Mulchay had followed her outside.  
  
'I'm ok. . . I think,' Izzy said, before spewing again.  
  
'It's alright to be disturbed by what you see here. It's perfectly natural,' Father Mulchay told her.  
  
'It's so much more real. . .' Izzy trailed off.  
  
'Than it is back home? I know,' Father Mulchay comforted her. 'I believe I felt unwell after I saw my first lot of wounded. So much blood, so many innocent lives.'  
  
'Do you get used to it?' Izzy asked.  
  
'Yes. . . and no. You feel more comfortable around the newly arrived wounded after a while, but you never get used to what they look like,' Father Mulchay replied.  
  
'I want to go back and help now,' Izzy said eventually.  
  
'Are you sure?' The priest looked worried.  
  
'Yes.' Izzy stood up and looked determinedly at the OR. Then she was sick for a third time. 


	22. Outta Hydrocortisone

'Why am I always the one to be company clerk when Radar goes on leave?' Klinger muttered angrily to himself.  
  
'Hey, Klinger. Don't you like office work?' Izzy asked, sitting on Radar's desk.  
  
'No. It gives me no spare time to make my dresses,' Klinger said, adjusting an earring.  
  
'KLINGER!' Potter yelled from his office.  
  
'Yes, sir?' Klinger poked his head through the double doors and Izzy leant forward to listen.  
  
'We're out of hydrocortisone. Why aren't you ordering in any more?' Potter demanded.  
  
'No one will send us any,' Klinger tried to explain.  
  
'Well, you'd better get some!' Potter yelled. Klinger opened his mouth to argue, but Izzy tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
'Where do you get your supplies?' she asked.  
  
'A base near Seoul. Why?' Klinger asked.  
  
'Take me there, and I'll get us the hydro-whatever-it-is,' Izzy said.  
  
'How?' Klinger was suspicious. Izzy waved her fingers in front of Klinger's face.  
  
'I used these to keep me alive for three years. Now it's going to keep someone else alive,' Izzy said. Klinger got the idea and looked worried.  
  
'You shouldn't be stealing,' he said.  
  
'When someone's life is in danger, does it matter?' Izzy asked.  
  
'I guess not,' Klinger replied.  
  
'Come on, get us some couple day passes and get into uniform,' Izzy instructed. She turned and walked out of the tent. Klinger shook his head, but did as he was told. First, the passes.  
  
'Permission to collect hydrocortisone myself, sir!' Klinger yelled, saluting. Potter looked up.  
  
'Fine,' he said.  
  
'I'll need two passes, Private Parker had offered to help,' Klinger said. Potter nodded, his head bent so his nose was only a few centimeters from his page.  
  
'Go get some forms then,' he said. Klinger couldn't believe how easy it was to get the passes. He came back with the forms, and Potter initialed them quickly.  
  
'Dismissed,' Potter said as Klinger ran out. The old man looked up. He had a thoughtful gleam in his eye. He had heard Izzy telling Klinger she could steal the medical supplies, and though stealing was wrong, Izzy was right. If it saved lives, what did it matter?  
  
Klinger ran towards his tent. Over near the motor pool, he could see Izzy talking to Rizzo. She was obviously asking for a jeep. He quickly got changed out of the purple dress he had on and into uniform, then went over to where Izzy was still arguing with Rizzo.  
  
'Come on, we have to use the jeep!' Izzy said.  
  
'How do I know you're not going to use it to get Klinger outta here? I don't want to get in trouble because I supplied the get away jeep,' Rizzo said. Klinger flashed the two passes in front of him.  
  
'Proof enough?' he asked. Rizzo passed a set of keys to Klinger, and he and Izzy got into a jeep. They drove off, towards Seoul. BJ and Hawkeye came out of Post op.  
  
'Where are those two heading?' BJ wondered out loud to Hawkeye.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
PS. Happy New Years! 


	23. A Hundred Bottles of Hydrocortizone on t...

First chapter for the year 2004!  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
'So, what's the plan?' Klinger asked.  
  
'Stop the jeep for a second. I can't think straight bouncing around like a rubber ball,' Izzy said. Klinger obligingly pulled over.  
  
'So what do we do when we get there?' he asked.  
  
'You ask for hydro-whatever. If they give it to us, we don't have to steal it. If they don't, I'm just someone with battle fatigue, and you're taking me to see someone. We sneak into the store area, and I pinch some stuff. If we're caught there, we say we got lost. We leave, with the medical supplies,' Izzy explained. Klinger thought about it for a second.  
  
'It's risky,' he said.  
  
'I like risk. Keeps me on my toes,' Izzy replied. Klinger started the jeep again.  
  
'Tell me about your life in Sydney,' he said as he pulled away from the side of the road. Izzy was a little stunned. She'd been asked only once or twice by Hawkeye, BJ and Potter, and everyone heard about her through rumours. No-one had asked her about her life, not here, or back home.  
  
'I was a street kid,' Izzy said finally. 'I had to steal to stay alive. Like the Black Market. I stole stuff, sold it and got money to buy food with. I've been caught once or twice, but they couldn't prove it. I got away to steal again.' Izzy paused as they hit an especially large bump in the road. 'Last job I did was a mess. I was grabbing a camera as the shop owner turned towards me so I couldn't just walk out with it, I had to run.'  
  
'It must be tough,' Klinger said. Izzy nodded.  
  
'It is. But I couldn't get a job. I'd been kicked out of school early, and had no experience in anything. Even when I did find jobs, I was in trouble and fired,' Izzy said. She refused to answer any more of Klinger's questions after that, and stared moodily into space. Klinger gave up asking, and they drove in silence for hours. Izzy even managed to fall asleep.  
  
'There's Seoul,' he said, pointing, waking Izzy up. The girl yawned, and brushed her hair with her fingers quickly. They stopped the jeep and got out.  
  
'Go ask for the stuff. I'll stay here,' Izzy said. Klinger nodded, and walked off. A captain came up to Izzy ten minutes later, and was obviously off his head.  
  
'Hey darlin', want some fun?' he asked, breathing beer fumes in her face.  
  
'Rack off!' Izzy said, getting into the jeep.  
  
'Come on!' the man seemed annoyed that Izzy wouldn't even look at him. He tried climbing into the jeep, but Izzy honked the horn loudly, making him fall onto his backside. An MP looked over and walked briskly over to them.  
  
'What's going on here?' he asked with a thick New York accent.  
  
'I was askin' the girl for a little get together,' the drunk replied.  
  
'Come on, you can come with me,' the MP said sternly.  
  
'If you change your mind, come look for me,' the drunk called over his shoulder. Izzy shuddered. She'd met a man in the streets like that in Sydney. Luckily she and her friends managed to get away before anything happened.  
  
'You ok?' Klinger was back. Izzy nodded as the MP came back up to them.  
  
'Who are you two?' he asked.  
  
'Corporal Max Klinger. I'm escorting this kid, you see. She won't say nothing. I was told to bring her here,' Klinger explained.  
  
'Oh, you must be after Dr Casey. He's around the side,' the MP instructed.  
  
'Thanks,' Klinger grinned, getting into the jeep again. He drove towards where the MP had indicated, waving quickly as he passed him.  
  
'Good, you remembered the cover up story,' Izzy said, smiling. They parked out of view from the MP and got out.  
  
'The supply tent's around this way,' Klinger said, leading Izzy around a small cluster of tents, and into a large building. It was filled with shelves and shelves of bottles, blankets and cots.  
  
'Distraction,' Izzy said, pointing towards the man reading a dirty magazine with his feet on his desk. She slipped away from Klinger and searched the shelves. She found something that looked like it could be hydrocortisone, but she wasn't sure.  
  
''Scuse me,' she stopped a woman with a clipboard. 'I'm here to, uh, pick up some stuff. What's this?'  
  
'Hmm? Hydrocortisone, see? It's written here on the box,' the woman said.  
  
'Didn't need that. Can you point me in the direction of the anesthetic?' Izzy asked. Wordlessly, the woman pointing towards the back of the building, and Izzy nodded. She walked back there, until she was sure the woman had gone. Then she went back to the hydrocortisone.  
  
'So you saying there won't be a shipment until next Thursday?' Klinger was asking.  
  
'Thursday next month, yeah,' the man said, not looking up from his magazine. Izzy gave a small cough and Klinger looked back. Izzy was standing by the door, ready to go.  
  
'Yeah, well, it'd better get to us,' Klinger said before walking to the door. Once no-one was watching, the two ran back towards the parked jeep and jumped in.  
  
'Got it!' Izzy said, pulling some small jars from her pockets.  
  
'That's not going to be enough,' Klinger observed. Izzy pointing into the back of the jeep, where a medium box lay.  
  
'I got about a hundred and fifty bottles in that. Pretty good for a half hours work,' Izzy grinned. Suddenly, the MP appeared.  
  
'Did you find Dr Casey?' he asked.  
  
'We came on the wrong day,' Klinger said before driving off quickly. 


	24. Back

'Did we just really get away with this?' Klinger asked.  
  
'You betcha,' Izzy replied. He looked back over his shoulder and laughed.  
  
'You're crazy. I can't believe we just stole that from the army,' he said.  
  
'It's the army. Who'll care?' Izzy said. Klinger grinned. He slowed down as they approached camp. Colonel Potter, Hawkeye, BJ, Frank and Margaret were there, waiting.  
  
'Where have you been?' Frank demanded.  
  
'Calm down, we had passes,' Klinger said, jumping out of the jeep and helping Izzy down.  
  
'And we got the hydro, er, stuff,' Izzy said brightly.  
  
'Hydrocortisone?' Hawkeye suggested.  
  
'Yeah, that,' Izzy said. Potter looked in the back of the jeep.  
  
'You've got enough here to last for the rest of the year,' he said.  
  
'They offered us interest,' Izzy said.  
  
'You're a hopeless liar,' BJ said.  
  
'Potter heard you telling Klinger how you were going to get the hydrocortisone. The whole camp knows, now,' Hawkeye added.  
  
'Knows what?' Frank asked.  
  
'Parker stole it, Frank,' Margaret explained patiently.  
  
'You can't steal from the army!' Frank yelled. Izzy leant into the jeep and pulled out the box.  
  
'Looks like I just did,' she said, grinning and opening the top.  
  
'Come on,' Hawkeye said, leading Izzy away from the jeep. 'We need to put all this away.' Izzy followed Hawkeye to the supply tent, where nurse Baker was checking off supplies.  
  
'Hello Hawkeye, Izzy,' she said.  
  
'Need this?' Izzy asked.  
  
'Hey, you pulled it off!' Nurse Baker sounded impressed.  
  
'Who said I couldn't?' Izzy said, putting the box down, and grinning at Hawkeye. She turned to leave when she remembered something. 'Have a few more,' she said, emptying her pockets. Tired, Izzy walked out of the supply tent and back to her own, where she fell onto her cot, and fell asleep. 


	25. Refurbished tents

Izzy stretched. Her back ached from helping the cook in the kitchen all morning, and she now smelled like over cooked liver. She left the kitchen and wandered over to the Swamp. Hawkeye and BJ were drinking gin, while Frank was reading his bible.  
  
'Food's on,' she said.  
  
'We like to let Frank eat first. That way, if he's not dead in an hour, we know it's safe to eat,' Hawkeye said. Izzy laughed, and sat down on a crate.  
  
'Idiots,' Frank muttered, closing his bible.  
  
'Watch you language around young, impressionable girls, Frank. You could pass on bad habits,' Izzy said. Frank muttered something about her having bad habits already, and left for breakfast.  
  
'So, how are you Izzy?' BJ asked.  
  
'You ask that every morning, and it's always the same. Just so and so,' Izzy replied.  
  
'Nothing for your tent yet?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Nope.'  
  
'Well, we got you something,' BJ said.  
  
'What?' Izzy asked. 'You didn't have to, you know.'  
  
'But your tent is so bland and boring. Everyone had something in or on theirs to make it more interesting. Even Radar had his teddy bear,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Do you want to see it?' BJ asked.  
  
'Come on, don't keep me in suspense,' Izzy said. Hawkeye and BJ stood up.  
  
'Come on,' Hawkeye said. They led Izzy back to her tent.  
  
'Close your eyes,' BJ said.  
  
'You went into my tent while I was cooking!' Izzy accused, but she shut her eyes anyway. Hawkeye and BJ led Izzy into the tent and closed the door behind her. 'Can I open them now?' Izzy asked.  
  
'No, not yet,' Hawkeye said. Izzy stood there patiently while BJ and Hawkeye opened the window flaps to let light in.  
  
'Alright, open them,' BJ said. Izzy opened her eyes and gasped. The tent hadn't had a lot done to it, but what little changes there were made it feel like Izzy's own. There was a colourful bedspread on her cot, made with scraps of material, probably made from the scraps Klinger had left over from his dresses, and there were a few magazine clippings of Australia stuck on the walls, which must have taken Radar days to dig up.  
  
'It's fantastic!' Izzy told Hawkeye and BJ, and she hugged them both.  
  
'Glad you like it,' BJ said. 


	26. OR and Death

'Incoming!' Radar yelled over the football game being played in the compound. Izzy suddenly felt sick. She didn't want to have to look at the wounded come in.  
  
'What do you want me to do?' she asked Hawkeye.  
  
'Stay out of the way, that's what you can do,' Hawkeye said. 'I know how much you hate the blood.'  
  
'I have to do something,' Izzy insisted, trying not to be sick as Hawkeye bent over a badly wounded soldier.  
  
'Nurse!' Hawkeye yelled. 'Look, Izzy,' he said as a nurse came running. 'I know you feel useless just standing there while we operate, but there isn't much else you can do. You don't like seeing all these men half blown up, and I don't blame you.'  
  
'Alright, Hawkeye,' Izzy said, and she stepped back to let him pass.  
  
'Parker! Get over here!' Frank yelled. Izzy went over to him, but tried not to stare at the body at their feet. 'Get him inside,' Frank ordered.  
  
'I can't,' Izzy said.  
  
'Why not! Just pick up that end and carry him inside!' Frank said angrily.  
  
'I can't, unless you want to work with my lunch all over him,' Izzy said. Frank thought about it for a second and paled.  
  
'Get lost then,' he snapped. Izzy happily complied. She ran off to the Swamp, and watched people through the canvas. Radar was running around, making sure they hadn't missed anyone. He spotted her, or at least seemed to sense her watching him, and went over.  
  
'Why aren't you helping?' he asked kindly.  
  
'I can't stand the blood. I'm sick every time I try to help,' Izzy explained. Radar nodded knowingly.  
  
'Come on, you can help me in my office,' he said. Izzy nodded and followed Radar. From where they were, they could here the noise from OR.  
  
'What do you want me to do?' Izzy asked. Radar gave her a pile of papers to sort, and left to make sure everyone was doing alright in OR.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy was in Post Op, helping BJ keep an eye on some critical patients. Hawkeye had left for Tokyo for five days requested R and R that morning, and already Izzy missed his jokes and pranks.  
  
'BJ,' Radar came into the post op ward, looking nervous. 'The Colonel wants to see you in his office now.'  
  
'What is it?' BJ asked.  
  
'He wouldn't tell me,' Radar replied.  
  
'Should I come?' Izzy asked.  
  
'No, it's just for the senior officers,' Radar said. He waited until BJ had left, then beckoned Izzy over. 'You can listen at the door with me,' he said.  
  
'No, it's all right, BJ will tell me when he gets back,' Izzy said. She went over to one of the patients she'd been talking to.  
  
Radar came back into the Post Op ward ten minutes later, looking pale.  
  
'Radar? What's wrong?' Izzy asked, worried. BJ came back, and it looked like he'd been crying. 'BJ?' Izzy was scared now.  
  
'A jeep, heading to Tokyo, was hit by a bomb. There was one man in that jeep, unidentified, but they think it's Hawkeye,' BJ said, half choking on his words. Izzy was stunned for a minute, and she sat down on the nearest empty cot.  
  
'What? No,' she whispered before bursting into tears. BJ went over to her and comforted her, while she just sat there and cried into his chest.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Ok, before you abandon me for killing Hawkeye, remember, I did promise the story would become more exciting. Please stick with me until I replace Hawkeye, ok? 


	27. I don't believe it

Izzy seemed lost in camp over the next few days. She seemed to be hit the hardest with Hawkeye's death, though Radar and BJ were extremely upset as well. Izzy refused to eat, sleep, drink or talk to anyone. As soon as Potter had heard about the man in the jeep, he'd called Sidney Freedman, who'd arrived the next morning. Izzy refused point-blank to see him. Sidney was nice enough, but she didn't want to talk about Hawkeye, Izzy just wanted to forget he was dead. Sidney had spent the first day there speaking with Potter, then seeing each person for an hour or so over a course of three days. He left Izzy until the afternoon of the third day. She was in her tent when he came.  
  
'Hello? Izzy?' Sidney said, knocking on the door. Izzy got up from her bed and locked the door before going back to bed.  
  
'Go away,' Izzy said.  
  
'I'm here to help, you know,' Sidney said.  
  
'I don't want or need help, thank you,' Izzy said coldly.  
  
'I'll be in the VIP tent if you want to talk,' Sidney said before leaving. Izzy cried into her pillow for a few hours until BJ came.  
  
'Izzy?' BJ knocked softly on the door. Izzy got up again and lifted the window blind of the door to make sure Sidney wasn't there with him. She unlocked the door and allowed BJ in.  
  
'Are you ok, Izzy?' BJ asked. Izzy didn't reply. 'You should let Sidney talk with you, he's a good psychiatrist,' BJ continued.  
  
'I don't need to see a psychiatrist, I need Hawkeye,' Izzy said. She was acting like a little kid, and she hated herself for it, but there wasn't much she could do. BJ wrapped his arms around Izzy's shoulders in comfort, while she cried.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy woke up from dreams of blowing up jeeps, and realised with a sick feeling in her stomach that today would be the day Hawkeye would have come home if he hadn't been killed. Sidney had gone, without having a proper conversation with Izzy, and most of the camp was over Hawkeye, though occasionally someone would excuse themselves from the room, sobbing quietly. Izzy was drained after five days of crying, and she'd become a shell, not reacting to anything around her, and still not eating or talking. She got up, and went to the mess tent like always, and sat beside BJ without getting anything to eat. Radar was opposite her, and he looked just as distressed as she did. He perked up his head, fifteen minutes through his meal.  
  
'Someone's coming. In one of our jeeps,' he said. BJ looked up.  
  
'Come on, lets go see who it is and why they have our jeep,' BJ said, pulling Izzy up from the table. They went outside, and met Colonel Potter, who was heading to the mess tent for his own breakfast.  
  
'What's the meeting about?' he asked.  
  
'I can hear one of our jeeps approaching camp, sir. It's about three minutes away,' Radar said. Potter frowned.  
  
'Really?' he asked. 'Well, I suppose breakfast can wait a few moments.' Izzy didn't care who was in the jeep heading for their camp, she didn't know why BJ had to drag her out to meet whoever it was. A jeep appeared a few miles down the road and Izzy heard BJ gasp.  
  
'I don't believe it,' he said with wonder. Izzy looked up at the tall man, and was surprised to see a joyful look on his face.  
  
'Well, I'll be,' Potter said softly.  
  
'Wow!' Radar said. Izzy looked up at the jeep as it pulled to a stop in front of them, and she jumped when she saw who was sitting in it.  
  
'A welcome party. You must have missed me,' Hawkeye said. He hoped down from the jeep and was about to reach in for his bags, when Izzy ran up to him and hugged him hard, tears running down her face.  
  
'You're alive,' she said. 'You're alive.'  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Author's Note: What, you didn't really expect me to kill of the main character of the TV show? And at the risk of having rotten fruit being thrown at me, I only did it to put a twist in the story and to see what sorts of reviews people would give me. *Grins and is instantly hit with a rotting tomato.* 


	28. Typical Army

Everything was explained to Hawkeye over breakfast.  
  
'Well, I'm not dead, as you can see. And I haven't been blown up in a jeep, mine's outside,' Hawkeye said. All during that meal, they had been interrupted by people coming up to Hawkeye to make sure they weren't dreaming. Even Frank and Margaret looked happy to see him. Izzy couldn't believe it. She couldn't help but stare at Hawkeye in the mess tent.  
  
'Stop staring at me, you're making me feel nervous,' Hawkeye said eventually.  
  
'Sorry,' Izzy said, taking her eyes off him, and she looked down at the brown table.  
  
'I'm kidding, stare all you want,' Hawkeye said. Izzy smiled a little.  
  
'We all thought you were gone,' BJ repeated for about the fifth time.  
  
'Radar. . .' Colonel Potter started.  
  
'Get onto the phone to HQ and tell them it wasn't Captain Pierce, yes sir. And don't bother asking for a new doctor,' Radar replied, getting up and running out.  
  
'So other than my death, what's been happening around here?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Sidney came,' Potter said. 'I knew there'd be a few people that would be upset, so I called him in.'  
  
'Izzy refused to see him,' BJ added.  
  
'Actually, Izzy refused to do anything when we heard you were dead,' Potter added. Hawkeye glanced at Izzy, and she blushed.  
  
'It's the first time I'd had someone close to me die,' she said.  
  
'Well, it's the second time I've been told by the army that I was dead,' Hawkeye said. 'Next time it happens, just consider it a rumour.' Radar came back into the mess tent, looking annoyed.  
  
'They knew,' he said flatly. 'The guy on the other end told me they found out who it was four days ago. A Sargent Simpson, and they didn't even have the courtesy to tell us it wasn't our doctor.'  
  
'Typical army, could have saved us a whole heap of pain,' BJ said.  
  
'What can you do?' Potter asked.  
  
'Come on, I've missed the Still. Buy you a drink, BJ?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Sure,' BJ replied. Izzy watched them both walk away.  
  
'You ok?' Potter asked Izzy.  
  
'I'm ok,' Izzy said.  
  
'Go lay down. You've just suffered a huge shock, and you're pale as anything. I'll get someone to bring you a tray of food,' Potter said kindly.  
  
'Thank you, but it's not necessary,' Izzy said.  
  
'Yes it is, you haven't eaten in days,' Potter said. Izzy nodded and wandered back to her tent on the edge of camp. She lay on her cot and stared at the ceiling. There was a knock on her door, and Klinger came in with a tray of food.  
  
'Bit of a shock, isn't it?' Klinger said, giving Izzy a small grin, as if he a little scared. Izzy nodded. 'I keep thinking it's a dream, and he's going to disappear in a cloud of blue smoke, or something,' Klinger continued.  
  
'I know,' Izzy said quietly.  
  
'I made you something special,' Klinger said, remembering the tray. He gave it to Izzy and sat on the end of her cot. Izzy sat up and looked at the tray. The food looked fresh compared to the greasy slop they usually got.  
  
'Thanks, Klinger,' Izzy said, taking the tray from him. She began eating and Klinger stood up to leave.  
  
'The Colonel said you could sleep all day, if you want,' he said. Izzy nodded, still eating, and Klinger left. After she'd finished the mountain of food, she put the tray on the ground and slept properly for the first time in days. 


	29. Back to normal

To the rest of the camp, Izzy was able to become her usual self over the next few days. She didn't mention the nightmares she'd been having since Hawkeye got back, they just seemed irrelevant. Other than that, she was fine.  
  
When Sidney heard about Izzy's recovery over Hawkeye, he said to keep an eye on her just in case, although she was probably fine. Izzy was even allowed to go back on guard duty.  
  
'Don't forget, every two hours,' Hawkeye said as he went back to the Swamp.  
  
'I know,' Izzy replied, rolling her eyes.  
  
'It's like he feels as if he has to look after you,' Klinger said as they walked off.  
  
'Why?' Izzy asked.  
  
'Well, I was talking to BJ about it, and he says Hawkeye counts you as the little sister he never had.'  
  
'Great.'  
  
'You don't like Hawkeye giving you all that attention?' Klinger asked.  
  
'No, I love it, but he gets silly sometimes, like telling me to see him every two hours,' Izzy said.  
  
'Yeah, but look what happened last time,' Klinger reminded her.  
  
'That only happened because Flagg was a psycho,' Izzy said.  
  
'Maybe, but Hawkeye won't see it that way,' Klinger said. 'He's too fond of you.' Izzy stopped. She'd never had anyone tell her they were "fond" of her. It felt nice.  
  
'What's tonight's password?' Izzy asked.  
  
'It's "it mainly rains in Spain" tonight,' Klinger replied.  
  
'Alright,' Izzy said, and they began patrolling the camp.  
  
'Tell me more about your life in Sydney,' Klinger said.  
  
'Wasn't what I told you in Seoul enough?' Izzy asked in surprise.  
  
'I just want to know what it's like. I'm sick to death of hearing about Maine, Ohio, and all those other places people call home. You don't talk enough about Sydney, and I want to know what it's like,' Klinger said.  
  
'It's big,' Izzy started. 'Not as big as some of the cities in America, but it was all I knew.'  
  
'Keep going,' Klinger said when she paused for a second.  
  
'Sydney can be harsh as well. Pickpockets like me are everywhere. You know the FFD that I told Flagg about? It's a real group. It was the name of my shoplifting friends, and FFD stood for Five Finger Discount, which is just another name for stealing,' Izzy said. This was hard for her, she'd never talked about her stealing like this before.  
  
'When it saves someone's life, does it matter?' Klinger asked. Izzy looked up. She remembered saying that when Klinger was doubtful about her stealing the hydrocortisone.  
  
'Thanks, Klinger,' she said, smiling.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Hawkeye was asleep, it was the first thing Izzy noticed when she went into the Swamp to let Hawkeye know she was ok.  
  
'Don't wake him, he made me promise I'd stay up and keep an eye on you,' BJ said.  
  
'Oh,' Izzy said. 'Well, I'm still alive.'  
  
BJ smiled. 'That's the spirit.'  
  
Izzy went back outside and glanced around. Klinger had said he'd continue rounds while she spoke to Hawkeye, but she couldn't see him anywhere. Something gleamed on the ground, from the light of a nearby tent. It looked like a gun. Izzy ran over. It was a gun.  
  
Klinger's.  
  
She looked around, a little scared now. Klinger didn't leave his gun in the middle of the compound for no reason. She stuck to the shadows, and hoped she wasn't making a huge racket to alert whoever was out there. She crept around the showers, and found Klinger with his hands on his head, surrounded by four other men. Izzy tried to hide a gasp, then lifted the gun to her shoulder and fired.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
In the Swamp, Hawkeye jumped awake.  
  
'What was that?' he demanded.  
  
'Nothing,' BJ replied nervously. There was another shot.  
  
'That was a gun shot,' Hawkeye said. He got up as quickly as his half asleep body would allow and put his red bathrobe on, tying a knot in the sash while trying to stamp his feet into his boots.  
  
'Did Izzy come by?' Hawkeye asked, bending down to fix one of his boots as a third shot sounded.  
  
'Just five minutes ago,' BJ replied, who was also getting his bathrobe on. Both men ran out into the compound as another shot sounded, as did most of the camp.  
  
'Who's on guard duty?' Potter barked at Radar.  
  
'Corporal Klinger and Private Izzy, sir,' Radar replied.  
  
'Izzy!' Hawkeye yelled frantically.  
  
'Keep the noise down,' a voice said in the shadows. 'And bring a few stretchers. I think I may have hurt a few people more than I wanted to.' A torch was shone in the voice's direction, and Izzy held up a hand to keep the glare out of her eyes.  
  
'What happened?' Potter said.  
  
'Well, I found Klinger's gun on the ground and came around here. There were a few men standing around him, with guns pointing at him, so I figured they were enemy soldiers or something, so I shot them,' Izzy explained.  
  
'You shot them?' a few people repeated in shock.  
  
'Yeah, near the showers. Stretchers, please?' Izzy said. A few people ran off, and Izzy led Hawkeye, BJ, Potter and a few other people to where Klinger and the strangers were. Klinger was pale and shaking, but seemed unharmed. There were four soldiers on the ground there, one shot in the leg, two in the shoulder, and the last had his side clipped by one of Izzy's shots.  
  
'They were going to shoot me,' Klinger said.  
  
'I know you don't approve of violence, Hawkeye, but they were out to kill, I only wanted to distract them,' Izzy said. Hawkeye didn't say anything.  
  
'Prep them,' Potter said, and everyone followed the four men on stretchers.  
  
'See Hawkeye, I can look after myself,' Izzy said. Hawkeye wasn't able to say a word for the rest of the night. 


	30. Jones, Smith, Drew and Johnson

'So who were those guys, Colonel?' BJ asked at breakfast the next morning.  
  
'We don't know, yet. One tells us they thought we were an enemy base, another said they thought Klinger was a Korean trying to take over the camp, and the other two say they were just following orders. It's a mystery,' Potter replied.  
  
'I bet Klinger and I could get them to talk,' Izzy said unexpectedly.  
  
'Yeah? How?' Hawkeye asked interestedly.  
  
'Well, odds are they don't know Klinger. If we showed him to them now, they wouldn't recognise him as the man from last night. Klinger goes in with a gun and wearing one of his dresses, and we tell those four men his crazy and said he'd kill them if they don't tell us the truth. Their stories will match up more, I promise,' Izzy said. Hawkeye laughed.  
  
'It's a good idea, but I don't think we should try it,' Potter said.  
  
'Why not?' Izzy demanded.  
  
'Oh shush up, Parker! If the Colonel says you can't do it, you can't do it!' Frank snapped.  
  
'Frank, you better shush up yourself before I punch you,' Hawkeye said loudly.  
  
'As I was saying, it wouldn't be a good idea because we don't know who these people are,' Potter said.  
  
'So?' Klinger asked.  
  
'We might get into trouble if we threaten someone's people. I'm not going to pull you out of any mess you make, Izzy, if you go ahead with this. Or you, Klinger,' Potter said.  
  
'Fine, we understand that. Can we try?' Izzy asked. Potter sighed.  
  
'Your own skins, got it?'  
  
'Yes sir,' Klinger and Izzy said before standing up.  
  
'Coming?' Izzy asked Hawkeye and BJ.  
  
'Ok, just in case,' Hawkeye said. Klinger went to his tent to find his most startling dress, while Izzy, Hawkeye and BJ went to where the four strange men where healing.  
  
'Hi,' Izzy said, waving to them. One of them refused to look at her, but the other three seemed glad of company.  
  
'They say a kid shot us. That'd be you, right?' one asked. Izzy nodded.  
  
'I'm sorry, I thought you were trying to take over camp. I had to stop you,' Izzy explained. 'By the way, have you seen a small, dark haired man, with a big nose in here? He's gone missing, you see.'  
  
'Missing?' one asked.  
  
'Yeah, he's crazy, we have to keep an eye on him at all times. Stupid army won't let him go,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'He's easy enough to spot. He'll be the only man in the camp wearing a dress, and carrying a gun,' BJ added.  
  
'He shouldn't have a gun, we keep them all safely locked up,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Oh! I don't think I locked the gun safe!' Izzy said.  
  
'We better go check,' BJ said.  
  
'We'll tell you when we find him,' Hawkeye told the four men as they ran from the room.  
  
'Now, we leave it to Klinger,' Izzy said.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
'Do you think they were for real? Do you think there really is a crazy man around this camp somewhere?' one of the men asked. His name was Jones, and was the youngest of the four.  
  
'No, they're just playing us for idiots,' growled a man known as Smith.  
  
'You never know. I can't remember the outfit, but I heard there was a MASH unit filled with mad surgeons,' Drew said.  
  
'Yeah, these guys aren't mad. They fixed us up, didn't they?' Johnson asked.  
  
'I suppose,' Drew said.  
  
'Like I told you, they're just messing with our heads, oldest trick of the book,' Smith said. Suddenly, a man came into the tent. He was short with dark hair and had a big nose, like the girl had described. He was wearing a long dress, and swinging a gun around his head.  
  
'What are you doing in this camp?' Klinger demanded loudly. 'YOU!' he pointed the gun at Jones.  
  
'We're here on orders of Colonel Flagg,' he trembled.  
  
'Idiot!' Smith yelled. Klinger swung the gun in his direction. 'Remember what we've been told, death before treachery.' Klinger poked him in the side with the gun. 'Ok, treachery before death,' Smith said. 'Flagg sent us.'  
  
'He told us to find a Private Parker, and to have him taken into Seoul,' offered Johnson. 'Said he was a communist sympathizer.'  
  
'I'm not a communist sympathizer!' Izzy said, entering the room.  
  
'You're Private Parker?' Drew asked. 'Flagg sent us in to get a girl?'  
  
'Flagg sent us to get some kid?' Smith sounded annoyed.  
  
'Hey, this kid shot all of you last night when you invaded our camp,' Hawkeye warned.  
  
'Yes, Flagg sent you to get Izzy,' BJ said. 'And we thank you for telling us Flagg was behind all this.'  
  
'I told you they were playing you for chumps,' Smith growled.  
  
'Oh, and that crazy MASH unit you've been hearing about? That's us,' Izzy said, before turning back out of the room to go see Potter. 


	31. The Last of the Mohicans Letter

'What's up, Izzy?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'I'm cold and wet. Whoever sold us the tent failed to tell us it wasn't waterproof,' Izzy grumbled. It had been raining for the past week, and she'd come into the Swamp, soaked through and miserable.  
  
'Come stand next to the fire,' BJ said kindly, moving away from the little stove in the middle of the tent so Izzy could get warm.  
  
'Thanks,' she said, moving as close to the stove as she could without burning herself.  
  
'What about all you stuff?' Hawkeye asked. 'Isn't it all getting wet?'  
  
'I put it into my foot locker the second rain started coming in through the roof,' Izzy said.  
  
'Good idea,' BJ said.  
  
'It's so cold,' Izzy continued. 'How can you stand it?'  
  
'It's not cold. Yet. Right now, it's a cool temperature, with the chance of it getting colder,' Hawkeye said. 'Usually, for it to be really cold, it snows.'  
  
'Great,' Izzy mumbled. She sneezed, waking Frank up.  
  
'What's she doing in here?' he asked.  
  
'Getting dry,' Izzy replied. 'Do you think I could sleep in here until I get a waterproof tent, and maybe a stove? My tent's cold.'  
  
'No!' Frank said. Hawkeye glared at the man, before turning back to Izzy.  
  
'Sure, if you promise not to clean up,' he said.  
  
'The Colonel won't allow this,' Frank said snidely.  
  
'He will unless he wants me to catch pneumonia, or something,' Izzy said.  
  
'There's a spare cot in here already,' BJ said.  
  
'Thanks, BJ,' Izzy said. Hawkeye suddenly frowned as the sound of helicopters sounded through the rain.  
  
'Big haul of wounded coming in, folks. Better get on your raincoats and come meet 'em,' the PA struggled over the rain.  
  
'Come on,' BJ sighed, taking his jacket down from a peg.  
  
'You stay here, Izzy, you already sound a little sick,' Hawkeye added before the three surgeons left the Swamp. Izzy watched the camp flounder around in the wet for half an hour until the last of them disappeared into the OR, before looking around the Swamp. She hoped Hawkeye and BJ didn't mind her looking through their things, she knew Frank would, but she didn't really care about him. She studied BJ's photo's of his wife and daughter, experimentally had some more gin from the Still before tipping the rest of the glass outside, and wrote rude things in the margins of Frank's letters home. She sat on Hawkeye's cot after a while, and saw a book sitting on his locker.  
  
'"The last of the Mohicans",' Izzy read with interest. The infamous book Hawkeye got his name from. She picked it up, and a slip of paper fell from it. She was about to put it back, when she realised it was a letter. She glanced around guiltily before reading it.  
  
~ Dear Trapper,  
  
This letter will probably end up with the other thirty two letter's I've tried to write to you, in the fire, but you never know, I might send this one.  
  
BJ, the man who replaced you is great, a real joker, like you, though, replaced probably isn't the right word. Who the army sent in to make up numbers after you left is probably more accurate. He filled one of Frank's shoes with mashed potatoes yesterday, before telling Frank he needed to go to Post Op. I think you would have liked him.  
  
Speaking of Ferret Face, we weren't stuck with him for CO for long, a Colonel Potter was brought in to take charge of the unit. He's great too, stricter than Henry was, but still lets us have a lot of fun.  
  
Margaret and Frank are still together, Klinger still wears dresses, and Radar still sleeps with his teddy bear, so other than you leaving and BJ and Potter arriving, nothing much has changed. Except we have a new member of the unit. I know you would have wanted to send her home, because she's so young, but I can't help but feel if she goes, the war will worsen. Her name's Izzy, a plucky eighteen year old from Australia. She's had a rough life, but has proved to everyone that she can take care of herself. She's no good in surgery, worse than Frank, and that's saying something, but she managed to catch four of Flagg's spies the other night. She's handy with a gun, which scares me a little bit, because you know how I feel about guns. It's ok, though, I don't think she likes me flirting with the nurses, which makes us even.  
  
Ok, the hard part of the letter, now. Why did you leave? Couldn't you have waited a while longer for me to get back from R and R so I could have said goodbye properly? Writing this, I know where this letter will end up, ash in the bottom of the Swamp's stove, with the other letters, but I might keep it a little longer so I can start another one and know where I'm heading with it before burning it as well.  
  
Because we never got a chance to before, I'll take this chance to say goodbye.  
  
Goodbye Trapper.  
  
From Hawkeye. ~  
  
Izzy put the letter down. It was weird reading a letter by Hawkeye, especially one to Trapper. She'd never heard Hawkeye talk about Trapper, especially about how he felt about him leaving. It gave her a lot to think about. She put it back into Hawkeye's book, and put the book back where she found it. She knew she'd never be able to talk to Hawkeye about that letter, or anyone else for that matter. Izzy sat beside the stove again and stayed there quietly for hours until BJ and Hawkeye came back from surgery. 


	32. Hawkeye is worried

'Izzy's been quiet lately. Any idea why?' Hawkeye asked BJ. They were working on a patient together a few days later, their third lot of wounded since Izzy moved into the Swamp.  
  
'It's all in your head. It seems like she hasn't been talking because you haven't seen her all week,' BJ replied.  
  
'But think, from what we have seen of her in the last week, she seems a little withdrawn, doesn't she?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'I suppose,' BJ admitted. 'She's probably just tired. Don't forget, she caught that cold and has been sick for the last few days.'  
  
'She's been having nightmares, too,' Hawkeye continued.  
  
'We all have nightmares, what's the problem?' Margaret said as she went past.  
  
'Klinger,' Hawkeye said loudly.  
  
'Yes sir?' Klinger came up to their table, trying not to look at the man they were operating on.  
  
'Does Izzy seem quieter now days to you?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Yeah, she does,' Klinger said.  
  
'What's the excitement over Izzy? Hawkeye, she's just a little sick. She'll be back to her old self soon,' Potter said.  
  
'I don't see why she's allowed to stay in our tent anyway. It's for officer's only,' Frank complained.  
  
'Izzy could become an officer. Radar, get headquarters on the phone and tell them to promote Izzy about ten times,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Yessir,' Radar said, walking towards the door.  
  
'He was kidding, Radar,' Potter told the corporal.  
  
'Oh,' Radar said, looking embarrassed. 'Sorry.'  
  
'Who said I was kidding?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
'What's the matter, Izzy? Feeling a little homesick?' Potter asked when he saw Izzy sitting on his desk.  
  
'No sir,' Izzy replied.  
  
'Just need someone to talk to?' Potter asked. Izzy nodded. 'Well, what would you like to talk about?' Izzy's mind went back to where "The last of the Mohicans" lay, but refused to even mentioning it to the Colonel. She had sworn she'd never talk about it to anyone, but it was hard knowing what was going beneath the sleaze in Hawkeye's mind. Radar came in.  
  
'Uh, Colonel Potter? Sidney Freedman is coming here sir, and Hawkeye would like to talk to you,' Radar said nervously.  
  
'Who called for Freedman?' Potter asked.  
  
'Hawkeye, sir,' Radar said. 'And he's outside. He want's to talk to you.'  
  
'I'll leave and come back later,' Izzy said, getting off the Colonel's table as Hawkeye came in. She and Radar retreated to the outer office. 'Why is Sidney Freedman coming?' Izzy asked.  
  
'I don't know. You can listen at the door with me, if you want,' Radar whispered. Both put their ears to the door and listened.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
'Why is Sidney coming?' Potter asked Hawkeye.  
  
'I asked him to see Izzy. I think there might be something wrong,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'She's probably fine,' Potter said. Hawkeye said down and lent towards Potter.  
  
'She's growing quiet, having nightmares, and won't talk to me as much. She tries to avoid me,' Hawkeye said in a low voice. 'I know it sounds stupid, but it's bugging me.'  
  
'Well, we can't stop Sidney from coming now, can we?' Potter asked.  
  
'He might even be able to find out how Izzy got to Korea. Beej and I don't believe that she can't remember how she got from Australia to Korea,' Hawkeye added.  
  
'Good point. I'm sure Sidney won't mind, either way,' Potter said.  
  
'I know, it gives him a chance to lose money to me at Poker,' Hawkeye joked, standing up. On the other side of the door, Izzy got up quietly, and went into Post op before Hawkeye could catch her eaves dropping on him.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
'Izzy, I want you to see Sidney,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'What?' Izzy asked.  
  
'You've been a little distant from everyone and I want you to see Sidney about it. He can help whatever is bother you,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Nothing's bothering me,' Izzy lied. Hawkeye pointed mutely towards the door. 'Alright, I'm going,' Izzy grumbled. 


	33. Talking to Sidney

Izzy knocked on the tent door, hating Hawkeye for making her do this.  
  
'Come in,' came the reply inside.  
  
'It's me, Izzy,' Izzy said, going in.  
  
'Ah, Izzy. I've heard a lot about you,' Sidney said.  
  
'Really?' Izzy was surprised.  
  
'Hawkeye and BJ have told me the story you gave them on how you got to Korea,' Sidney said.  
  
'So you think I'm crazy?' Izzy asked.  
  
'Maybe. What child would turn up in Korea with no memory of how she got there, then join the army, rather than be sent home?' Sidney said.  
  
'You are calling me crazy,' Izzy accused.  
  
'Your circumstances are interesting, I'm not saying you're crazy,' Sidney said to calm her down. 'Not yet, anyway. Please, tell me about your life back in Australia.'  
  
'You have privacy laws, or whatever, right?' Izzy asked.  
  
'Yes, what you tell me I won't tell another soul if you don't want me to,' Sidney said.  
  
'So you won't tell Hawkeye?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'Or BJ?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'Or Colonel Potter?'  
  
'Not one soul in this whole camp.'  
  
'Good,' Izzy said. Sidney watched the girl interestedly. She seemed to be relieved that he promised he wouldn't tell anyone what she was going to tell him.  
  
'Tell me about your life in general. I've been told you didn't finish school, and were kicked out of home at an early age,' he said.  
  
'Three or four years ago, actually,' Izzy said.  
  
'What did you do to survive?'  
  
'Well, I lived with a friend for a while, and when her parents got annoyed with me, I went to another friend's house,' Izzy said.  
  
'You can't have done that for long, unless you were friends with the whole of Sydney,' Sidney observed.  
  
'Huh, I wish. Parent's of old friends refuse to even say hello to me after they heard I was kicked out of home. Thought I was a bad example for their own children,' Izzy said.  
  
'So what did you do?'  
  
'I stole things. Then sold them for money.' Izzy thought back to the days where she had managed to slip out of a store with a thousand dollars worth of goods, her mind trailing to when she had stolen the camera before being hit by that car.  
  
'Tell me the last thing you remember before ending up in Korea,' Sidney said.  
  
'You're humouring me with the whole "In Sydney one minute, Korea the next" thing, aren't you?' Izzy asked. Sidney smiled a little.  
  
'Maybe,' he replied.  
  
'I was halfway through a job. Had managed to grab a camera, but had to run, because I had been seen. I ran out onto the street and was hit by a car. I blacked out, and when I came to, I was just about to be put under again to be operated on,' Izzy said.  
  
'Your mind must have blotted it out. Maybe you had suffered great trauma in between those two times,' Sidney said, writing something in his notebook.  
  
'That's not all,' Izzy said, glancing around and moving forward towards Sidney.  
  
'It's not?' Sidney asked.  
  
'No. If I tell you this, you'll probably book me a room with soft white walls with a nice straight jacket to go with it, but I swear this is true, and I'm not crazy,' Izzy said. Sidney also leant forward, interested. The girl seemed determined to let him know she wasn't crazy. 'I'm not from this era,' Izzy whispered.  
  
'I'm not sure I follow you,' Sidney said.  
  
'I'm not from the 1950's. I'm from about fifty years into the future,' Izzy explained. Sidney laughed.  
  
'You are, are you?' he said.  
  
'I'm not. I won't be born until 1985, my parents wouldn't even been born yet,' Izzy said. 'It sounds impossible, and like I'm crazy, and maybe I am, but wouldn't you be if you were in my shoes?'  
  
'I think maybe your mind has been playing tricks on you hallucinations, maybe, about your past,' Sidney said. 'It sounds like you've had a hard life in Sydney, and it would be understandable if your mind made changes to your memory to make it seem better.'  
  
'Yeah, that makes sense,' Izzy said. And she meant it. It was absurd, being from the future. Her mind made the year 2003 up. A figment of her imagination. The 4077th was not a TV show, it was real. But something nagged in the back of her mind, making her realise this theory couldn't be right. How did she know everyone before she had even seen them? But, it was probably best to go along with Sidney's theory. It was better than getting stuck in the crazy house.  
  
'Hawkeye's main reason for asking me to come was to see what was bothering you. Even I can tell you have something on your mind and I've only just met you,' Sidney said.  
  
'I did something I feel bad about right now,' Izzy said. 'I swore I wouldn't tell anyone about it.' There was a long pause. 'I read a letter of his to Trapper,' Izzy said finally.  
  
'And?' Sidney asked. Izzy looked up in surprise.  
  
'I read a personal letter of Hawkeye's!' Izzy said. 'I'd be annoyed if he'd read a letter of mine.'  
  
'Maybe he wanted you to find it,' Sidney suggested.  
  
'I doubt it. It was hidden in a book,' Izzy said.  
  
'And where was the book?'  
  
'On his footlocker.'  
  
'He knew if you were bored, you'd pick something up to look at,' Sidney said. 'Maybe he put it there, subconsciously hoping you'd find it. Either way, I suggest you admit you read it.'  
  
'That's not a bad idea,' Izzy said quietly to herself. 'You don't think he'll mind?'  
  
'You seem to have a close relationship with Hawkeye,' Sidney said.  
  
'Yes, I do,' Izzy said.  
  
'Well, why would he hold it against you? Yes, he'll be slightly annoyed, but he won't hold a grudge,' Sidney said. Izzy nodded in agreement.  
  
'Even though you have this close relationship with Hawkeye, you didn't want me to tell him anything you've said right now. I thought maybe you'd have already told him about your life in Sydney,' Sidney said.  
  
'I haven't. I haven't even thought of it,' Izzy said.  
  
'Will you?'  
  
'I think I might, but maybe after he's cooled down after I tell him I read his letter,' Izzy said. Suddenly, she remembered something. 'You aren't going to talk to me about my nightmares?'  
  
'Only if you think we should talk about them,' Sidney replied. Izzy shook her head.  
  
No, it's ok. They're only nightmares. Thank you, Dr Freedman. You've been very helpful.' Izzy smiled and she left the VIP tent. 


	34. A confession

'Hawkeye? Are you awake?'  
  
Hawkeye muttered something and rolled over.  
  
'Hawkeye!'  
  
'Uhhh. . .'  
  
'Wake up,' Izzy said, switching on the light above Hawkeye's head. The man threw and arm over his eyes to keep the light out of them.  
  
'Whoever that is better turn that light off right now, or they'll be spending the rest of the war in North Korea,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Shh. It's me,' Izzy said. Hawkeye sat up hurriedly.  
  
'Izzy?' he asked.  
  
'Sorry for waking you up. I should know you need more than twelve hours of sleep,' Izzy said.  
  
'I haven't been asleep for. . .' Hawkeye glanced at his watch. 'Oh. Maybe I have been asleep for a little too long.'  
  
'I need to talk to you,' Izzy said.  
  
'You do realise it's two in the morning?' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Less chance of us waking BJ and Frank up,' Izzy said. Also, maybe you'll be too tired to get angry at me for reading that letter, Izzy thought to herself.  
  
'What's the matter?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Uh, you know that book on your footlocker?' Izzy asked. Hawkeye woke up fully.  
  
'What?' he asked urgently. 'My father gave me that book. Nothing happened to it, did it?'  
  
'No, the book's fine. I, uh, picked it up the other day while you were in surgery, and a letter fell out of it. I kinda read it,' Izzy said.  
  
'You read it?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'I knew you would be mad. I'll go sleep out in the rain now if you want,' Izzy said.  
  
'I'm not mad. Well, I am, but not as mad if it had been someone else,' Hawkeye said, pulling Izzy back down as she went to stand up.  
  
'I'm sorry I read it,' Izzy said.  
  
'I suppose you want to know who Trapper is,' Hawkeye asked. Izzy shook her head.  
  
'You don't have to tell me. He was your tent mate before BJ came,' Izzy said.  
  
'How'd you know that?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
Oops.  
  
'It was written in the letter,' Izzy said, suddenly remembering. 'Where's the letter now? Or did you burn it like you were going to?'  
  
'Yeah, I burnt it,' Hawkeye admitted.  
  
'You should write to him,' Izzy said.  
  
'I've tried,' Hawkeye said. 'It gets harder every letter.'  
  
'How about you ask Radar to patch a call through for you?' Izzy asked. 'Or send him a telegram.'  
  
'I don't know,' Hawkeye said. 'Maybe I'll drop in on him in the States when the war is over, or when I go home, whichever comes first.'  
  
'I'm sorry I read it,' Izzy said. 'Your letter was none of my business.'  
  
'Don't worry about it. I've forgiven you,' Hawkeye said. 'Next time, though, don't wake me up at two o'clock just to tell me you read it.' Izzy grinned, blushing with embarrassment.  
  
'Sorry,' she said, getting up and climbing into her cot. Hawkeye turned his light out and Izzy was asleep in minutes.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Yay, the tennis is over next week! This means M*A*S*H is back on TV where I live. I think I'm a little M*A*S*H deprived at the moment; a few nights ago, I dreamt I joined the army. . . 


	35. Court Martial

Izzy finally had a new, water proof tent, and a small stove to herself, and had moved out of the Swamp. The camp was relaxed, as Margaret had gone either on R and R or to a nursing thing in Tokyo, Izzy couldn't remember which. At the moment, she was eating lunch with Radar, Hawkeye, BJ, Colonel Potter and Frank.  
  
'Well, Margaret called from Tokyo. She says she has big news for all of us,' Potter mentioned casually.  
  
'Wonder what this big news is,' BJ said.  
  
'I bet I know,' Izzy said.  
  
'Oh yeah? How much?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Five bucks,' Izzy said.  
  
'You're on,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'I bet she's engaged. She's met a nice guy, and he's proposed to her,' Izzy said factually.  
  
'Margaret would never get married. I mean, not to another man,' Frank said.  
  
'What, you suggesting she marries another woman?' Izzy asked. Looking annoyed, Frank got up from the table and left.  
  
'I'd like you to stop tormenting Burns like that, Izzy,' Potter said.  
  
'Ok, but I bet Margaret really did find another guy,' Izzy said, standing up and going to her tent.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
A few days later, Izzy was in the Swamp, waiting for Hawkeye and BJ.  
  
'Hi, Izzy,' BJ said when he came in, seeing her sitting near the heater.  
  
'You missed the big announcement of Margaret's,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'And?' Izzy asked.  
  
'You were right,' BJ said like he still didn't believe it. Hawkeye handed a five dollar bill over to Izzy, but suddenly got an idea.  
  
'If you can tell what Margaret was going to do, can you tell me the winner of tomorrow's cockroach races?' he asked.  
  
'No, I've filled in my magical future seeing quota for this lifetime,' Izzy said.  
  
'What else is going to happen?' BJ asked.  
  
'I don't know,' Izzy replied.  
  
'When will the war end? When will we get home?' Hawkeye demanded.  
  
'I don't know,' Izzy said truthfully. She still wasn't too sure about what year she was in, why she was there, or even how she got there. Frank came in, looking angry and upset.  
  
'Has Margaret told him?' Izzy whispered to BJ. The man nodded.  
  
'Must have,' he replied.  
  
'You ok, Frank?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Buzz off,' Frank snapped. He noticed Izzy sitting there, and his eyes narrowed. 'How did you know Margaret found another man?' he asked.  
  
'Lucky guess,' Izzy replied, shrugging.  
  
'You are not suppose to be in an officer's tent. Get out, and that's an order!' Frank said, taking his anger out on Izzy. Izzy shrugged again and got up.  
  
'Just because I knew it was coming, doesn't mean it's my fault,' she said before leaving.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
'Private Parker to Colonel Potter's office,' the PA yelled over the football game in the compound. Izzy stood up from helping Father Mulchay in his garden, and excused herself before going to Potter's office.  
  
'What's up, Radar?' Izzy asked. Radar had his head up to the crack in the door.  
  
'Major Burns is in there. He has filled in some court martial forms against you,' Radar explained. He backed away from the door so Izzy could go through.  
  
'See? She's late,' Frank said.  
  
'I was in the compound. I'm not like Radar, I don't appear out of thin air the second you think of calling me,' Izzy said irritably.  
  
'Frank wants to have you arrested, Izzy,' Potter said calmly.  
  
'Why?' Izzy asked, not so calmly.  
  
'Because you are a disgrace to this unit!' Frank yelled.  
  
'I though Hawkeye was suppose to be a disgrace to this unit?' Izzy asked.  
  
'Shall we go through the charges?' Potter asked over the top of their yelling. Izzy went quiet. She could just kick Frank.  
  
'Go on, Colonel,' Frank said, standing up straight. Izzy sat down in the nearest available chair, and sighed.  
  
'First charge, failure to salute superior officers,' Potter read.  
  
'Just because he's of higher rank, doesn't mean he's superior,' Izzy said.  
  
'Second charge, inadequacy when wounded come in,' Potter continued.  
  
'She's never there to help, and since we're a MASH unit, we need all the able hands we can get,' Frank cut in. Izzy rolled her eyes.  
  
'Like you can talk about inadequacy,' she said loudly.  
  
'Third charge, tormenting the people of the unit,' Potter looked up.  
  
'That last one's not true, I only torment Ferret Face,' Izzy said.  
  
'Burns, no-one salutes in this outfit, except you and Major Houlihan. I don't expect anyone to have to salute unless there is a General or someone just as important in camp,' Potter said. 'As for Izzy unable to help when wounded are coming in, it's not her fault. We need to have a clean working environment when working on these men, but it can't be kept sterilized if Izzy can't hold her stomach.'  
  
'So there,' Izzy said softly so only Frank could hear.  
  
'What about the third charge?' Frank demanded.  
  
'Look, Frank, I don't want you pressing these charges. But I can't stop you, unless you can get someone to back you up on the first and last charge. I'm going to rip up the second, got it?' Potter asked.  
  
'Yessir,' Frank muttered.  
  
'But you can't press them without another officer backing you up,' Potter said. Frank nodded and left the room.  
  
'He's going to get Margaret and she hates me,' Izzy groaned.  
  
'I'm sorry, Izzy, but there isn't much I can do,' Potter said. 'If you don't tell me about it, you can go see Margaret and talk to her about these stupid charges of Frank's.'  
  
'Thank you,' Izzy said, surprised. She ran out of the room, colliding with Radar.  
  
'Sorry,' they both mumbled before going in their separate directions. Izzy ran towards Margaret's tent, and slowed down when she realised that Frank probably would be talking to Margaret at that moment. She watched Margaret's door angrily, and was surprised to see Frank come out, looking just as annoyed. He disappeared around a tent, and Izzy went to Margaret's door. She knocked and waited for an answer. When no one did answer, Izzy stuck her head through the door and found the tent empty. No wonder Frank looked so annoyed and had come out so early. Looks like there'd be a rush between her and Frank to find Margaret.  
  
The race was on. 


	36. Searching

'HaveyouseenMargaret?' Izzy asked breathlessly as she stumbled into the Swamp.  
  
'What?' BJ asked, amused. Izzy took a deep breath and tried again.  
  
'Have you seen Margaret. I have to get to her before Frank otherwise I might get a court martial,' Izzy said.  
  
'I think she's in Post op. If not there, try the showers,' Hawkeye said. 'Why the court martial?'  
  
'Potter said if Frank could get someone to back him up on the court martial forms he wants to put in against me, Potter will put them through to HQ,' Izzy said. Hawkeye stood up quickly.  
  
'We'll help you look,' he said.  
  
'Let me guess, you want to check the showers?' Izzy asked bemusedly, waiting for Hawkeye and BJ to pull on their boots. Hawkeye grinned slyly.  
  
'The thought never crossed my mind. But if that's where you want me to search. . .' he said.  
  
'Come on,' BJ urged. 'We'll stall Frank, you look for Margaret.' Izzy nodded and ran to Post op.  
  
'Is Major Houlihan here?' she asked Nurse Baker.  
  
'Nope. Try the mess tent,' Baker replied. Izzy was gone again, glancing through the canvas of the Mess tent as she went. Frank was there, and Hawkeye and BJ were talking to him, hopefully trying to talk him out of the court martial. Izzy ran to the showers, and went in. Margaret wasn't there, but she did manage to startle the two nurses showering there.  
  
'Rats!' Izzy stomped her foot before running out. Radar was standing nearby when she ran out, and he stopped her.  
  
'Major Houlihan is in her tent,' Radar told her. 'She was in Post op when you and Major Burns were looking for her, but she's there now.'  
  
'Thanks Radar, I owe you one,' Izzy said, racing for Margaret's tent. She knocked on the tent door and waited.  
  
'Come in,' Margaret called, sounding not as angry as she usually did.  
  
'May I speak with you for a moment, Major?' Izzy asked as she opened the door. Margaret sighed.  
  
'Major, is it? What do you want?' she asked.  
  
'Margaret,' Izzy said, coming in quickly, and sitting on the cot. 'I know it's not my place to tell you want to do, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't back Frank up on the court martial papers he's got on me.'  
  
'Court martial papers?' Margaret asked. Izzy explained quickly what was going on, as she was afraid Frank would burst in on them at any second.  
  
'Please, don't let him send me away! I like it here!' Izzy pleaded. 'This has to be the best place in Korea to be during the war.'  
  
'Why would I agree with Frank on that?' Margaret asked.  
  
'Well, you did meet up with each other every other night before you met Don -- I mean, that guy in Tokyo,' Izzy said.  
  
'What does that have to do with anything?' Margaret asked, looking a little annoyed at how Izzy dared accuse her and Frank of having an affair.  
  
'I figured he'd still have a little impulse on you,' Izzy shrugged.  
  
'Impulse! Him? On me?' Margaret shouted.  
  
'So you won't back him up?' Izzy asked.  
  
'No!' Margaret still sounded outraged.  
  
'Ok, thanks, Margaret,' Izzy said thankfully before withdrawing from the Major's tent. She backed into Frank, and she jumped when he grabbed her.  
  
'What are you doing?' he demanded.  
  
'Aren't I allowed to skulk around like I'm guilty of something?' Izzy asked. 'Jeez, it gets so a member of the FFD can't spy any more.' She grinned cruelly as she said this until Frank let her go and began knocking on Margaret's door as Izzy zipped away quickly. It'd be nice to hear Margaret go off at Frank for once, but if she was caught, Margaret might agree with Frank to get her court martial after adding "spies on personnel in the camp". She went to the Swamp, where Hawkeye and BJ were relaxing.  
  
'You kept him away for just long enough, thanks,' Izzy said to them.  
  
'It's ok,' BJ said. She told them how she'd talked Margaret into not agreeing to help Frank with the charges.  
  
'I'm always being threatened with court martial orders. Never happens, though,' Hawkeye said lazily. The PA system crackled to life, and the three looked up expectantly. After the usual breath tests, came the message.  
  
'Private Parker to Colonel Potter's office, please, Private Parker to the Colonel's office.  
  
'Do you think maybe Margaret agreed to back Frank up?' Izzy asked suddenly. She couldn't help her voice from shaking slightly.  
  
'Come on, we'll back you up,' Hawkeye said, leading her out of the Swamp.  
  
'But what if she agrees with Frank? What if everyone thinks I'm a little terror and should be tarred and feathered before being thrown out of camp?' Izzy asked, digging her heels in the dirt a little.  
  
'Potter would have let Frank put those orders through right away if he didn't like you,' BJ reassured Izzy.  
  
'And if we didn't like you, we would have tarred and feathered you weeks ago,' Hawkeye added. Izzy was refusing to walk now, so the two surgeons had to drag her. They stopped at the Colonel's office door, and BJ gave Izzy a little push.  
  
'You have to find out sooner or later,' he said. Izzy nodded, took a deep breath, and went in. 


	37. A Major gets their way

'Izzy, the charges have been dropped. You get to stay,' Colonel Potter said. Izzy stumbled, as she'd still been walking in when he said it.  
  
'What? Really? I don't have to leave? I won't get arrested?' Izzy asked, stunned.  
  
'Told you it'd be fine,' Hawkeye said through the door. Potter sighed and Izzy laughed crazily.  
  
'HA!' she yelled at Frank, who was standing beside the filing cabinets and scowling. Then Izzy pranced out, and did a cartwheel.  
  
'I think she's happy,' BJ said.  
  
'Really?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Yes. See the way she's jumping around like she's a rubber ball?' BJ replied. Izzy grinned at the two surgeons.  
  
'I'm staying!' she enthused.  
  
'I've never seen anyone so happy to not get sent home,' Potter said. Izzy skipped back to the Swamp in front of Hawkeye and BJ, and continued to bounce off the walls once there.  
  
'Calm down! Or go use your energy to gloat over Frank, or something,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Actually, there is something I need to do,' Izzy said, sitting down on BJ's cot.  
  
'Well, go do it,' BJ said.  
  
'After I have a break. I've lost all my energy,' Izzy grinned. Hawkeye rolled his eyes, in mock annoyance, but grinned back at Izzy.  
  
'Well, what is it you have to do?' he asked.  
  
'Nothing you have to worry about. But thanks for keeping Frank distracted long enough for me to talk to Margaret,' Izzy said. She stood up and left, doing cartwheels in the compound and getting her hands muddy. She went back to Margaret's tent and knocked on the door.  
  
'What?' the Major snapped. Sounded like she was a little annoyed after talking to Frank.  
  
'It's me, Izzy. Can I see you for a moment?' Izzy asked. There was an annoyed sigh from inside, but Margaret didn't say no, so Izzy went in.  
  
'What is. . .' Margaret started angrily and turning to the girl when Izzy didn't say anything, but she stopped in shock. Izzy was saluting her. Margaret swallowed the spite she'd built up from Frank. 'What. . .' she started.  
  
'It's thanks for not agreeing with Frank to send me away,' Izzy said sincerely. 'I know you would have if you hadn't met that guy in Tokyo, so thank him from me next time you see him.'  
  
'Izzy, I don't know what to say,' Margaret said, looking down at the ground. When she looked up again, Izzy was gone. 


	38. The Swamp falls in

The bad weather Korea had been experiencing a few days before came back as a large storm. As well as causing a lot of other damage, it dismantled the Swamp, leaving Hawkeye, BJ and Frank homeless. Colonel Potter held a meeting about it the next day.  
  
'It's gonna take a couple of days for us to replace or repair your tent, so you three will have to bunk with some of the other personnel,' Potter said.  
  
'Oh, I dibs the nurses tent,' Hawkeye said quickly.  
  
'You will not step one foot in my nurse's tent!' Margaret said.  
  
'Fine, I'll share a tent with you,' Hawkeye said, grinning.  
  
'You'll all sleep in Post op if you don't pipe down!' Colonel Potter yelled. Izzy smiled secretly to herself. She admired the way the Colonel was able to take charge like that by yelling his lungs out. Izzy had invited herself to the meeting, but had been threatened to be kicked out, unless she made herself useful. So the girl was pouring glasses of whisky to those who wanted it. She put the bottle down and cleared her throat.  
  
'There's room in my tent for another cot,' she said.  
  
'Good. Hunnicutt, you'll be with Parker. Hawkeye, in my tent, and Burns, in Klinger's tent,' Potter said.  
  
'I can't sleep with an enlisted man!' Frank yelled.  
  
'You will, and you'll like it!' Potter barked.  
  
'He has such a cruel sense of humour,' Izzy muttered to Hawkeye as she refilled his glass.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
'Lucky we don't hate each other,' BJ panted as he wrestled with his cot in the doorway of Izzy's tent.  
  
'I'm just grateful Frank wasn't put in my tent. Poor Klinger,' Izzy grinned. BJ finally got his cot in the door and put it along one of the walls. Then he picked up the blankets he'd brought in earlier, dumped them on the cot and collapsed on top of it all.  
  
'You're not going you sleep like that, are you?' Izzy asked.  
  
'Yep,' came BJ's muffled reply.  
  
'Won't you be cold?' Izzy asked, getting into her own cot as she was. BJ sighed, got up, straightened his blankets before crawling under them.  
  
'Happy?' he asked.  
  
'Yeah, now you won't wake me in the middle of the night with your flu from the cold,' Izzy said cheekily. She switched the light out and settled back into her blankets. BJ sighed contently and Izzy stared up into the darkness, wondering how she'd got to Korea. It was physically impossible to be transported from one time and place to another, but somehow it had happened. Izzy knew it would bother her how it happened for the rest of her life, unless she found out how she got there. Digging her way deeper into her blankets, Izzy fell asleep. 


	39. Nightmares

Izzy was back in the streets of Sydney. She knew it was Sydney, because the last shop she stole from was across the road. Somehow, to Izzy, it didn't seem like Sydney, it was just too empty. There were no cars, no people on the usually busy street, and the sky was dark from clouds. Izzy knew that these clouds weren't from rain or a storm, they were from something more dangerous. Izzy looked around, a little scared, and saw the 4077th standing at the end of the street. She could see people milling around there, seemingly unaware they were in the middle of Australia's biggest city. Suddenly, a plane flew over head, something dropping from it, and the camp blew up. The blast made Izzy fly backwards, onto her back, and she struggles to sit up, half sobbing, half screaming, staring at the canvas wall in front of her.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
'Izzy, what is it?' BJ was beside her cot, looking worried.  
  
'Nothing. A bad dream, that's all,' Izzy said. She noticed she was shaking, and her breathing was hard, so she tried to calm herself down.  
  
'Do you want to talk about it?' BJ asked. Izzy shook her head, but changed her mind and started nodding.  
  
'Just don't tell Hawkeye,' she said. 'He worries about me too much to be bothered with nightmares.'  
  
'Hawkeye knows you have nightmares,' BJ said.  
  
'I know,' Izzy said. 'But he thinks I've stopped having them. They're worse now, though.'  
  
'Come on, tell me about it,' BJ said. Izzy retold BJ her nightmare, trying to leave as much detail out as possible. 'Didn't you talk with Sidney about your nightmares?' BJ asked after she'd finished.  
  
'No, I didn't think it was worth it,' Izzy said. 'They started after the army said Hawkeye was dead.' BJ nodded.  
  
'It's understandable,' he said. 'I think you're just worried that the war is going to leave you alone.' Izzy was still shaking, so she looked at her favourite picture on the canvas tent wall to calm her down. It was a coloured photo of central Australia, with a few trees scattered over the red dirt. BJ followed her eyes and smiled at the picture.  
  
'Have you ever been there?' he asked, pointing to the desert landscape.  
  
'No, I've been in Sydney all my life. I'd like to go one day, though,' Izzy said. She stopped shaking and lay back down.  
  
'You going to be ok?' BJ asked. Izzy nodded.  
  
'I think so,' she replied.  
  
'You need to do something about those nightmares.' BJ said.  
  
'I know,' Izzy replied. 'I just don't know what.'  
  
'Well, try to get back to sleep and we'll figure something out in the morning,' BJ told her, getting back to his own cot.  
  
'I might go for a walk,' Izzy said, getting up.  
  
'Alright. Watch out for snipers,' BJ said. Izzy went out into the cold and instantly wished she had Klinger's giant mink coat. She walked to the edge of camp, and watched the sun come up.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
'You buy something?' the Korean peddler asked. Izzy looked at the cart waiting in the compound with the nurse's crowed around it. Izzy edged nearer, and looked at the items he had for sale.  
  
'You got some nice things here,' she told him, eyeing a necklace. 'Good quality.'  
  
'Thank you,' the Korean smiled, and sort of bowed. Izzy picked up a small bottle of something and looked at it. There was no label, so she turned to the peddler.  
  
'What's this?' she asked.  
  
'Keeps bad spirits away. Also helps with sleepless nights,' the Korean man told her. 'Twenty dollars.'  
  
'I don't have twenty dollars,' Izzy said, annoyed at the army for not organising her any pay. Luckily, she didn't participate in anything that needed money, like weekly poker games, or the rat races on Friday nights.  
  
'Seventeen dollars,' the Korean said.  
  
'I'd love it, and would buy it, but I don't have any money,' Izzy said. BJ came up to them.  
  
'What are you looking at, Izzy,' he asked pleasantly.  
  
'Perfume stuff. It's supposed to keep away nightmares,' Izzy said. 'Only problem, the army hasn't given me money, so I have to pass it up.'  
  
'How much is it?' BJ asked the peddler.  
  
'Fifteen dollars. Final offer,' the Korean said.  
  
'Ten,' BJ said.  
  
'Done,' grinned the man, and he handed Izzy the bottle after receiving a few notes of money from BJ.  
  
'You didn't have to,' Izzy said to BJ as they walked off.  
  
'Oh, but I wanted too,' BJ replied.  
  
'You just don't want your sleep disturbed,' Izzy teased.  
  
'How'd you see through my clever plan?' BJ asked in mock anger. He smiled at Izzy. 'I got it so you'd have a better nights sleep. Hawkeye isn't the only one who has to worry over you.'  
  
'Thanks, BJ,' Izzy said gratefully.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Author Note: Yes, yes, I know. It was very convenient of that peddler to have something to fix nightmares. But what are ya gonna do? It's a fanfic! 


	40. Captian Kaufmann

Izzy still continued to have nightmares, but they were less frequent after having the perfume subtly put onto her pillow. Hawkeye still didn't know about the nightmares, which was probably a good thing given the fuss he made when Izzy twisted her foot in the compound, but BJ was happy to hear the nightmares were slowly disappearing. Oblivious to Izzy's now forgotten problem, Hawkeye was with the girl in Post op, teaching her to read the patient's charts.  
  
'Captain Lester Kaufmann came in with a broken leg and shrapnel in his chest,' Hawkeye said as Izzy picked up the chart. She smiled to herself at the way Hawkeye dumb-downed the medical speak for her.  
  
'When will I be going back?' Kaufmann asked.  
  
'Another week, right?' Izzy asked Hawkeye, tilting the chart towards the surgeon. Hawkeye nodded, and Izzy gave Kaufmann a quick smile, a little upset he wouldn't be going home for a while. She forgot about him after that, until two nights later, in Rosie's bar. She'd gone to Rosie's because the marines had taken over the Officer's club temporarily, and they gave Izzy a hard time. Sitting at the bar, Izzy looked around and saw Hawkeye, BJ, Klinger, Radar and Father Mulchay in the corner playing Poker, and Captain Kaufmann a few seats along from her. Noticing her, he slid over, stumbling over his own feet. She flinched back at the small of the alcohol on his breath. Obviously he'd been drinking for a few hours.  
  
'Hey, you're one of the gals who helped fix me,' Kaufmann said.  
  
'No, I'm one of the gals who hangs around. I don't do blood,' Izzy replied. Kaufmann moved closer to Izzy, and the girl backed away. The captain was making her feel very uncomfortable, but a quick glance to the corner told Izzy that the five playing poker were too intent on their cards to help her.  
  
'Uh, Captain?' Izzy started.  
  
'Call me Lester,' the soldier told her, edging closer again.  
  
'Right, Lester, look, you're making me uncomfortable. Back off,' Izzy said.  
  
'Nonsense,' Kaufmann replied.  
  
'I think maybe you've had enough to drink. Maybe you should go back to Post op,' Izzy said. Kaufmann leant forward and wrapped his arms around Izzy before forcing a kiss onto her lips. Izzy tried to pull away, and noticed Hawkeye standing up at his table, a look of disbelief on his face as he threw his hand down.  
  
'What the hell do you think you're doing?' Hawkeye demanded after ripping Kaufmann away from Izzy.  
  
'He's drunk and hitting on me,' Izzy said, wiping her mouth with her jacket sleeve. 'I told him to get lost-'  
  
'She's lying!' Kaufmann interrupted. 'She wanted me!'  
  
'Come on,' Hawkeye said, leading Izzy back to his table. Izzy shuddered and tried concentrating on the poker game, but Kaufmann was back five minutes later, obviously not giving up.  
  
'Come on,' he coaxed, putting an arm around Izzy's waist. 'We'll go outside and have some real fun.' Hawkeye stood up at this point and punched the second Captain in the jaw.  
  
'She's eight years younger than you! She's just a kid!' Hawkeye yelled at the motionless body on the floor. Izzy was shaking. She knew Hawkeye would be in trouble for hitting Kaufmann, but she was glad he stood up for her like that. Radar's eyes were wide with fright behind his glasses, Father Mulchay went to Kaufmann to make sure Hawkeye hadn't killed him and BJ and Klinger moved forward to make sure Hawkeye wouldn't try to hit out at him again.  
  
'Thanks, Hawkeye,' Izzy whispered, sitting down and watching Father Mulchay help Kaufmann up.  
  
'I'll have you arrested,' Kaufmann growled to a startled Radar.  
  
'He didn't hit you, I did,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Fine, you'll be arrested and be put somewhere where you can't do anything!' Kaufmann snapped, turning to Hawkeye.  
  
'What about you?' Izzy asked, standing up, her voice shaking. 'You were going to do something to me I wanted no part of.'  
  
'Who's the judge going to believe, a soldier who's fighting for our country, or a stupid doctor and whiney Private kid?' Kaufmann asked.  
  
'Who had four witnesses,' BJ added.  
  
'Father, Radar, Klinger, will you three please take Captain Kaufmann back to Post op? And give the nurse a word of warning, he might want to try someone else,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'I'll go and keep an eye on him,' BJ offered. The five men left, leaving Hawkeye to take Izzy back to her tent.  
  
'I'm not just a kid,' Izzy muttered halfway between Rosie's and camp.  
  
'Yes, you are,' Hawkeye replied, holding her in one arm in a comforting manner.  
  
'I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there,' Izzy said, looking up at Hawkeye.  
  
'I know,' Hawkeye said quietly. 'Neither do I.'  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Kooshball Note: Ok, I've had a couple of reviewers saying they were gonna write a fic similar to this, person from now gets sucked into the show, blah, blah, but now don't want to because I got to the idea first. I know every fan of a TV show has imagined this happening. So don't let this fic stop you! Write your fics where you are sucked into the show! Just tell me about them so I may read them, and don't steal my idea of being hit with a car! 


	41. Stalker

Kooshball Note: I think I'll spoil my readers today, and put two chapters up instead of one. And on another note, ages and ages ago, I rewrote "Black Kat" if anyone is interested. No? Well, go read it anyway!  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy's eyes shot open when she heard the knock on her tent door.  
  
'Oh Private! It's Captain Kaufmann,' someone called through in a singsong voice. He didn't have seemed to have sobered up any. Izzy lifted the back wall of her tent and crawled under the canvas. She took a quick look around before heading to the Swamp.  
  
'Hawkeye,' Izzy hissed, trying not to wake Frank.  
  
'I thought you were in your tent,' Hawkeye said, still half asleep.  
  
'I was, but Kaufmann knows where I live,' Izzy said.  
  
'You can sleep in the spare cot here again, if you want. Until Kaufmann leaves,' Hawkeye muttered before rolling over.  
  
'I might go to Post op. It's probably safer there,' Izzy said in an annoyed voice before left the Swamp. She made sure she couldn't see Kaufmann anywhere before jogging to post op. Margaret was on duty, and BJ was hunched over a patient.  
  
'Kaufmann's being paying house calls. He came to my tent just five minutes before,' Izzy said after getting his attention by poking him in the back. BJ glanced around the room and looked a little ashamed of himself.  
  
'Sorry, Izzy,' he said.  
  
'It's ok, no harm done. Hawkeye said I could stay in the Swamp until Kaufmann is shipped out, but he was half asleep when he said it. Can I get the same offer from someone who isn't?' Izzy asked. BJ grinned.  
  
'Sure, it'll annoy Frank,' he replied. Izzy smiled, and sat on the empty cot beside the patient BJ was checking.  
  
'I hate Kaufmann,' Izzy said eventually.  
  
'He just gave you a scare, that's all,' BJ replied, standing up. Izzy followed him to the desk in the corner.  
  
'I can't believe Hawkeye hit him,' Izzy continued. 'Do you think Kaufmann will try and press charges?'  
  
'Odds are, he won't remember. Plus, like I said, you and Hawk have four witnesses,' BJ said, sitting at the desk.  
  
'Hawkeye hit someone?' Margaret asked, making Izzy jump.  
  
'Yeah, Kaufmann. He was drunk,' BJ said.  
  
'And trying to get into my pants,' Izzy muttered.  
  
'Kaufmann,' Margaret said, scanning the tent. 'Where is he now?'  
  
'As far as I know, outside my tent, wondering why I won't answer the door,' Izzy replied.  
  
'Should we go get him?' Margaret asked, frowning with worry.  
  
'Probably. He might jump one of the nurses,' Izzy replied. 'I'd do it, but I don't trust him.'  
  
'I'll get him. Keep an eye on the man in bed three, Margaret, and I'll be back in a few minutes,' BJ said, standing up and leaving Post op.  
  
'So what happened?' Margaret asked Izzy. Izzy glanced up at the Major to see concern etched on her face. She remembered how nicer Margaret seemed after the court-martial incident.  
  
'Well, I went into Rosie's to just relax,' Izzy began, and she told Margaret more or less what had happened a few hours earlier that night. Margaret looked shocked when Izzy had finished, and she looked up angrily when BJ brought in the swaying Kaufmann.  
  
'I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!' she exclaimed, going to get up, but Izzy stopped her.  
  
'Leave it, Margaret, Hawkeye already belted him on the chin,' Izzy said. 'He doesn't need two bruises so Kaufmann can say we jumped him or something.'  
  
'I asked Radar to organise Captain Kaufmann to be shipped out in the morning,' BJ said, coming over. 'He's leaving on the first helicopter.'  
  
'Good,' Izzy muttered to herself. 'Where did you find him?' she asked BJ.  
  
'Uh.' The man looked uncomfortable for a second.  
  
'He was in my tent, wasn't he?' Izzy asked. BJ nodded, then pulled something from his pocket.  
  
'He kinda got angry you weren't there, so he ripped one of your pictures down,' BJ said, holding out the tattered piece of paper. It was her only coloured picture of Australia, the one of the desert plain with the trees. Izzy sighed sadly to herself.  
  
'It doesn't matter,' she said. 'I've never been there anyway.' The bitterness in her voice was warning enough to keep Margaret and BJ quiet.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy spent the night in Post op helping Margaret and BJ, until dawn, when a single ambulance came into the compound to take Kaufmann to the chopper pad. A few corpsmen came to help Kaufmann into the back, and Izzy stood by watching. Klinger came up to her, looking nervous.  
  
'The Captain says he wants to talk to you,' he whispered. Izzy moved forward cautiously, and looked at the man holding his head.  
  
'Dang hangover,' Kaufmann said. He spotted Izzy standing there, and beckoned her. 'They say you're the reason I'm leaving early. How can I thank you?' he asked, holding a hand out to Izzy. Izzy's eyes widened a little, but she took his hand and shook it.  
  
'Keep off the drink, and try not to come back to the 4077th again,' Izzy replied, pulling her hand away quickly. Kaufmann got onto the ambulance, and Izzy slammed the door as hard as she could. There was a muffled groan from inside, which made Izzy smile slightly before the ambulance moved off. It might teach him not to drink too much again.  
  
'Does Hawkeye know Kaufmann has left?' Izzy asked Klinger as the two headed towards the Mess tent.  
  
'Nah, he's still asleep,' Klinger replied.  
  
'Don't tell him about what just happened. Just say Kaufmann left without any trouble, or something,' Izzy said, throwing him a sideward glance.  
  
'Gee, taking orders from a Private. Next thing you know, I won't be wearing dresses no more,' Klinger said, grinning. Izzy smiled back as she pushed the door open to the mess tent. 


	42. Troubled Letters

Izzy pushed her way through the marines in the Officer's club. They still hadn't left, but at least there were more people there, and the marines were smarter than Kaufmann to try and hit on her in front of the other people of the 4077th. Izzy stood beside the juke box, probably the only place she could stay without being bumped by someone, and looked around. Father Mulchay was on the piano, playing something she didn't recognise, Klinger was serving drinks behind the bar and Frank was sulking in the corner, a letter in one hand. He spotted her, and made his way over. Izzy frowned, Frank wasn't her biggest fan, but she wasn't too worried. He couldn't do anything to her.  
  
'Private, may I have a word with you outside?' Frank asked, trying to hold his temper.  
  
'Of course, Major,' Izzy said, slipping through the crowd. She looked back when she got to the door, finding that Frank was having trouble getting through the marines. Izzy smiled. Obviously Frank wasn't used to slipping through masses of people like she was. She'd also been able to swipe about twenty dollars from the marines, which she'd donate later to Father Mulchay for the orphans.  
  
'Where did you want to talk?' Izzy asked Frank pleasantly when he finally got out of the Officer's club. The tone annoyed Frank, and Izzy knew it.  
  
'Colonel Potter's office. Now,' Frank said. Izzy followed Frank, still not too worried. Potter was in the Officer's club, half drunk, and telling BJ about World War Two.  
  
'What's the matter, Frank?' Izzy asked when they finally got to the office. She sat up on the Colonel's desk and began to swing her legs as to annoy Frank even more. It worked.  
  
'What were you doing in my belongings?' Frank exploded.  
  
'I haven't been near your stuff for ages,' Izzy said.  
  
'How do you explain this then?' Frank demanded, passing a piece of paper to Izzy with his hand shaking. Izzy scanned the letter quickly, then started to feel a little worried. The letter was from Frank's wife, demanding to know what the remarks on the last letter Frank had sent were. Izzy laughed nervously. Obviously Frank hadn't reread the letter to his wife that Izzy had added to the day she read Hawkeye's own letter to Trapper.  
  
'What about it?' Izzy asked. Maybe she could bluff her way out.  
  
'You wrote things in my personal letter home!' Frank yelled.  
  
'Prove it was me,' Izzy said, calmly, silently picking out an escape route.  
  
'You're the only wacko in camp who says "Don't have a cow, man",' Frank said. Izzy knew her frequent quotes from "The Simpsons" would get her in trouble one day. She jumped off the desk, and tried to run for the door. Frank grabbed her by the scruff of her jacket, but she managed to wriggle out of it and disappear into the dark compound. It was freezing cold, but Izzy didn't care. She knew Frank had reason to have her arrested now, and she didn't feel like going down easy. First she'd have to find Hawkeye. She knew he was on a date, and odds were he'd be in the Supply room, but she didn't really want to walk in on anything. On the other hand, Potter was tipsy and it'd take Frank a while to get through to the Colonel what he wanted to do. But Potter might sign anything Frank put under his nose in the state he was in at the moment, even a form saying Frank was now CO. Izzy shuddered at the thought. Better go find Hawkeye. She went to the supply room first and was relieved to find a coat hanger on the door knob.  
  
'Hawkeye?' Izzy called, knocking quietly. 'It's Izzy. Frank is ready to kill me, so I'd like your help for a minute.' There was some shuffling noises inside for a few minutes, and a little cursing, and Hawkeye came out a little while later.  
  
'What is it?' he asked, half annoyed at being interrupted.  
  
'Sorry to bother you, and lieutenant Baker,' Izzy said, casting a glance in at the blushing nurse. 'But Frank found out I wrote some nasty messages on his letter home, and he's not too happy.'  
  
'When have you had the chance to write things in Frank's letters?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Ages ago. He sent those letters without looking and his wife decided to mention them in her next letter, which arrived today,' Izzy replied. She glanced back at Nurse Baker again, who was pulling her coat on. 'I'm sorry,' she apologised. 'I could get BJ to help me instead, let you two get back to your date.'  
  
'No, we were just finishing up anyway,' Hawkeye mumbled.  
  
'So what are we going to do about Ferret Face?' Izzy asked.  
  
'We'll talk to him,' Hawkeye said, beginning to walk away. Izzy looked back at Nurse Baker again.  
  
'Sorry,' she apologised again, and she ran to catch up to Hawkeye. They found Frank in the Swamp, pacing and looking angry.  
  
'What's the matter, Frank?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'She's what's wrong!' Frank yelled, pointing at Izzy. 'She goes through my belongings and defaces my letters home!'  
  
'Hey, I did it once. The letter didn't look finished, so I figured you'd write more on it and realise before you sent it off,' Izzy said. She saw her jacket on Franks bed, and picked it up before sitting beside the furnace. She had just realised how cold she actually was. 'It was just a joke,' she added.  
  
'Come on, Frank. It's not as bad as the time Trapper and I glued the pages of your bible together, or the time Beej made you jump in that fox hole full of water,' Hawkeye said. 'Here, let me look at the letter.'  
  
'My wife threw it out,' Frank pouted.  
  
'Fine, let me look at the one she sent you,' Hawkeye said, holding his hand out. Frank fished out his piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Hawkeye. Hawkeye read over it and then handed it to Izzy. Izzy didn't bother reading it again, she just threw it in the fire.  
  
'HEY!' Frank yelled. 'That was a letter from my wife!'  
  
'Right,' Izzy said.  
  
'This way, you can't go to Colonel Potter about it,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'I'll just write my wife again,' Frank said.  
  
'And I'll just burn her letter again,' Izzy said. 'Look, I didn't mean anything by it. Will you accept a sorry, and a promise I won't touch your letters again if you don't press charges?' Frank thought for a moment.  
  
'Alright,' he said, shaking Izzy's hand.  
  
'While we're on the subject, you may get a letter from your stock brokers saying thanks for donating all your shares to them,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Why you dirty rat!' Frank yelled as Hawkeye and Izzy bolted from the Swamp. 


	43. The Front line

'You're kidding,' Izzy said.  
  
'Nope.'  
  
'Stupid army, does it again,' Izzy complained, leaving Klinger to hand out everyone else's pay. The army had failed to acknowledge the fact that she was part of the army, and hadn't sent her any pay. Hawkeye followed her after collecting his pay, and stopped her as she went to go out the office door.  
  
'If it's money you want, Beej and I can lend it to you,' he said.  
  
'Nah, it's not like I go anywhere,' Izzy shrugged. She followed Hawkeye outside, and she stared up at the blue sky. It seemed hard to believe that thousands of kilometres away, was her old home, even though it was fifty years in the past. Her train of thought was disturbed when Radar ran into her.  
  
'Sorry, Izzy!' Radar said, getting up from the ground where he fell. Hawkeye helped Izzy up, then turned to the young corporal.  
  
'What's up, Radar?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'A surgeon needs to go up the front with a nurse and corpsman, to help with casualties until they get a new doctor,' Radar explained.  
  
'Who's turn is it this time?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Your turn,' Radar replied. Hawkeye sighed loudly.  
  
'Find a nurse and a corpsman to come with me, and I'll leave as soon as I can,' he said.  
  
'I'll come with you,' Izzy declared.  
  
'NO!' Hawkeye said a little too quickly, turning to face her again. 'No,' he said, quieter this time. 'I want you to stay here. Where it's safe.'  
  
'What about you? I want you where it's safe too,' Izzy said.  
  
'You'll have to stay here,' Hawkeye said again, walking away quickly so Izzy couldn't argue.  
  
'I can't believe him, treating me like a kid all the time,' she said angrily. 'And don't give me the "he just cares about you" speech either, I've had enough of hearing about it.' Radar shut his mouth as Izzy stormed off. Izzy was annoyed at Hawkeye, and everyone else who treated her like a little kid in camp. The cook had refused to let her take out the huge metal food tub out to the mess tent because he thought it was too hot for her to carry. Hawkeye treated her like a little kid who needed protecting all of the time. He still made her report in every two hours while she was on guard duty, even though she had proved she was apt at handling bad situations herself. Izzy had made up her mind. She was going to go with Hawkeye to the front, even if it meant she had to hide in his duffel bag.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Hawkeye, Margaret and a new corpsman to the camp, known as Bob, had been in the jeep for sometime, when Margaret shrieked.  
  
'Something underneath me moved!' she yelled. Hawkeye pulled over to the side of the road hurriedly, and Margaret jumped out. Hawkeye and Bob jumped out as well, and moved the blankets laying in the back of the jeep. A sheepish Izzy grinned up at Hawkeye and moved out from under them.  
  
'Izzy?' Margaret and Hawkeye said in unison.  
  
'What's the kid doin' here?' Bob asked bemusedly.  
  
'I'm not a kid,' Izzy replied hotly, hopping out of the jeep.  
  
'We're taking you back to camp,' Hawkeye said firmly.  
  
'We can't, we're needed,' Margaret pointed out.  
  
'And you can't leave me here until you come back. I guess I'll have to come with you,' Izzy said. Hawkeye looked like he might leave Izzy on the side of the road under the trees while they went to the front, but instead, he got back into the jeep.  
  
'Since you're coming with us, you have to be helpful,' he grumbled.  
  
'Helpful?' Izzy said, suddenly feeling nervous.  
  
'Yes, as in helping us with the wounded,' Hawkeye snapped, angry Izzy was there. Izzy nodded and got back in as well. Margaret looked a little annoyed as well as she got into the jeep beside Izzy, but Bob was grinning his head off.  
  
'Whadda know? Little kid is determined to come with us,' he said as Hawkeye started the jeep. As they got closer to the front line, Izzy could hear the bombs going off closer and closer. It was also starting to get dark, and she could see flashes of light occasionally in the sky. Hawkeye pulled up to a building which had seen better days, and he got out quickly as another man with a red cross on his helmet came up to them.  
  
'Doctor Pierce?' he asked. Hawkeye nodded, and followed the other man, leaving the other three to get everything they needed out of the jeep.  
  
'I don't think it was a good idea for you to come,' Margaret said suddenly, turning on Izzy.  
  
'Hey, leave her alone, she just wanted to help!' Bob said, hauling a box out of the jeep.  
  
'I know I shouldn't have come,' Izzy said, regretting coming as the ground shuddered. 'I just wanted to prove I'm not just a little kid.' Margaret's face softened a tiny little bit, but she turned her head quickly at the sound of a yell inside.  
  
'I need help!' Hawkeye shouted. The head nurse ran inside, and Izzy helped Bob with the last of the equipment.  
  
'You're a good kid, wanting to help,' Bob said kindly, picking up most of the supplies and taking them inside. Izzy followed him, the butterflies that were in her stomach a few minutes before replaced by thrashing crocodiles. She found it a little nerve wreaking that she was used to most of the explosions, save for the major ones that landed almost on top of the building, but she supposed that it was a part of her street kid side coming through. Her nervousness was coming from the thought of being near people that were bleeding slowly to death.  
  
'Izzy, you're needed in here!' Hawkeye yelled from inside. The girl quickly grabbed the last of the supplies and hurried into the shaky building. 


	44. An accident

Kooshball Note: Yes, Bob is a very bland name, but I couldn't be bothered thinking of another name. If you don't like Bob, pretend his name is Fred. ;)  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy forced herself through twelve hours of wading through people who were literally dying before her. On several occasions, she felt like she was going to be sick, but she just swallowed hard and tried to think of something else. She wasn't too worried by the bombs going off, she just pretended they were fireworks going off, like it was New Years on the Harbour. Her main worry was that people would die because of her lack of medical knowledge. Finally, Hawkeye pulled her to one side.  
  
'Take a break,' he said kindly. 'You've been running around for hours.'  
  
'If I stop, I'll be sick. If I'm sick, I won't be able to keep on helping,' Izzy said, shaking her head.  
  
'Look, Bob and Margaret are asleep, you should get some as well,' Hawkeye told her.  
  
'But you need help,' Izzy argued, half aware that she was almost asleep on her feet.  
  
'I'll be having a rest as well. Someone from the 8063rd is coming later to replace us,' Hawkeye said, leading Izzy to where Margaret and Bob were asleep. Izzy lay down without any more fuss, and looked up at Hawkeye, who didn't sit down with them.  
  
'Do you know why I came?' Izzy asked, trying to keep her eyes open. Hawkeye looked surprised at the question. Izzy closed her eyes as she continued. 'I wanted to prove I'm not just a kid, and I can look after myself.' It was then that she fell asleep.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy jumped awake at the sound of a bomb landing nearer to the building than usual. She looked up, to see the roof swaying.  
  
'Hawkeye! Margaret! Bob! Get up!' she yelled, struggling to stand. The other three woke, and also noticed the roof. All four struggled to get out of the small room they had taken up for sleeping, just as the roof fell in. A stray beam struck Izzy, and ripped down the back of her jacket and scratching her back.  
  
'You ok?' Hawkeye demanded, both he and Margaret turning Izzy around so they could check her back.  
  
'I'm fine,' Izzy replied, trying to ignore the painful scrape down her back. 'Are you guys alright?'  
  
'I'm ok,' Margaret said, sounding as shaken as Izzy felt. Bob and Hawkeye nodded.  
  
'We'd probably be dead if you didn't wake us up,' Bob said, handing Hawkeye some ointment for Izzy's back. One of the field surgeons came running up.  
  
'What happened?' he asked.  
  
'Nothing. Roof fell in, that's all,' Izzy said.  
  
'Casualties?' the field doctor asked.  
  
'Just the Private, her back got hit by a rafter, but she says she's ok,' Bob said.  
  
'Are you sure? The kid isn't a doctor, you know,' the field doctor said, glancing at Izzy.  
  
'She's not just a kid,' Hawkeye said. 'She's a helluva young woman.' Izzy gave a shaky grin.  
  
'We have more wounded,' the other man said, beckoning Hawkeye. Izzy sighed loudly, hoping the replacement doctor would be there soon.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Heading back for camp, Izzy decided she'd never followed Hawkeye out to the front ever again. It was too dangerous. The only good thing that came out of the trip, she supposed, was not being called "just a kid" by Hawkeye any more. Izzy smiled to herself. It was about time he treated her like an adult, and after that episode, he probably would. 


	45. Requisition form

The first thing Izzy did when they got back to camp was go to Zale, the supplies Sargent.  
  
'I'd like to requisition a new uniform, please,' Izzy said pleasantly.  
  
'Fill out this form,' Zale replied, putting a ragged piece of paper in front of the girl, and eyeing the rip on the back of her jacket and shirt. Izzy moved a little uneasily, and reached for the pen on the table.  
  
'You'll need to fill out another form to use this pen,' he told her.  
  
'Don't push it, Zale. I need new fatigues,' Izzy said. Realizing the man was not going to give her the pen, she groaned quietly to herself, and walked out, her requisition form in one hand. She went to her tent and put the form on her footlocker. She got her things ready to go have a shower, and left her tent. Her skin was grubby, and she knew she'd feel better after she was clean. Twenty minutes later, Izzy found her tent had a few visitors while she wasn't there. Her second uniform wasn't there, and neither was her requisition form. Getting dressed back into her ripped uniform, she realised it was worse off that it was before. The small tear high on her left thigh of her pants had been ripped open to the edge seams, and the back of her jacket was shredded. Her shirt, which she'd worn to and from the showers, wasn't really appropriate to wear around camp, as although it had warmed up considerably, it still was ripped, almost right down the back.  
  
'Who'd go through my belongings?' Izzy yelled angrily, throwing the ripped clothes back onto her cot. She got back into her almost useless uniform, finding that on, it was even worse. There were more tears in it that she hadn't noticed before, and it showed off a lot more of her skin than she would have liked in the middle of a sex deprived camp. As there was nothing else she could really do, she headed over to the Swamp.  
  
Hawkeye was there with BJ, reacquainting himself with the Still.  
  
'I was just telling BJ how fantastic you were up the front,' Hawkeye said as Izzy opened the Swamp door. His eyes widened when he saw the state of her clothes.  
  
'Have fun up the front, Izzy?' BJ asked, giving a teasing grin before his jaw fell open. Izzy gave both men a look that meant she wasn't in the mood for games.  
  
'Don't you have a second change of clothes? Shouldn't you go get changed?' Hawkeye asked, realizing the girl was annoyed about something.  
  
'I do. They were stolen,' Izzy replied, sitting on one of the crates.  
  
'Stolen?' BJ asked, as if he didn't believe his ears.  
  
'So was the requisition form I just got from Zale. I need new fatigues,' Izzy said. 'I'm just left with these at the moment, and they're no good.'  
  
'Who take someone's clothes?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'You?' Izzy suggested. Hawkeye and BJ glanced at each other.  
  
'Us? We'd never play a dirty trick like that on you, Izzy, you know that,' BJ said.  
  
'I know, sorry. It's just that you two are the usual jokers,' Izzy apologized. She sighed as she stood up. 'I better get a new form,' she said. 'I'll see you guys at lunch, ok?'  
  
'See you Izzy. We'll tell you if anything comes up,' Hawkeye said. Izzy nodded, then headed back to the supply room.  
  
'Zale, I need a new form,' Izzy said. She felt Zale's eyes go over her, and she saw him try to hide a smile.  
  
'Sure,' he replied, pulling out some paper. He handed Izzy a pen, and she began to read over it.  
  
'Hey, this isn't for a new uniform!' she said.  
  
'It's a form requisitioning new requisition forms to requisite new fatigues. All in all, you should get your new uniform in about six months,' Zale said.  
  
'You're kidding,' Izzy said, trying to keep her voice level as she slammed the pen down. Zale shook his head. Furious, Izzy stormed out of the tent. Walking back to her tent, she saw, no, felt, all of the men in the compound stop and stare at her. Someone whistled, but Izzy kept her head down, walked faster towards her tent and blushed. She made it to her tent, then collapsed onto her cot.  
  
'The most embarrassing moment of my life,' she mumbled into her pillow. She sat up, trying to think who'd be so mean as to do this. She knew Hawkeye and BJ wouldn't do it, they didn't pull pranks on her. They knew if they did, she could get nearly everyone in camp to help her pay them back. She had a feeling none of the nurses did it, they were all too nice to her for that. It had to be one of the men. Izzy groaned loudly. That could be nearly anyone. She'd have to sit it out, and catch the person who was pulling the prank.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Kooshball Note: Does anyone know the episode where Klinger finds out Lavern is leaving him? I know she went off with Klinger's best friend in "Your retention please", but I'm sure there's another one before that. Any help would be appreciated. :) 


	46. Unacceptable clothing

'What are you wearing, Parker?' Frank demanded when he saw Izzy. The girl glanced up, pretending not to hear the sniggers and leers around the mess tent.  
  
'Uniform, sir,' Izzy replied, spooning mashed peas onto Frank's tray.  
  
'Well it's not fit for someone of the army!' Frank yelled loudly, making more people look over.  
  
'Didn't you hear? I quit. I'm now a homeless street kid again. It's appropriate for me,' Izzy said in a matter-of-fact voice, before turning to the next person in line.  
  
'I order you to get a new uniform!' Frank said, refusing to budge.  
  
'You'll have to talk to Zale about that, you see there's a problem with the requisition sheets, and if I'd had filled out the forms yesterday, my uniform would have arrived in six months,' Izzy said, keeping her gaze away from Frank. Frank gave up and went to sit with Colonel Potter.  
  
'Why do you let that child get away with everything!' Frank hissed.  
  
'Who?' Potter asked, most of his attention on the side dish that just moved on his tray.  
  
'Parker! She's running around in rags! I demand you do something about it!' Frank said.  
  
'I'll talk to her,' Potter replied, nudging his tray away.  
  
Izzy finished work, and dished up her own breakfast. She walked over to a quiet table in the corner, still getting stares from every side. She poked at her food, not really hungry before standing up. A new round of laughter went around the tent and Izzy tried hard not to swear at the top of her voice. She'd forgotten about the rip on her thigh again, and it had worsened the longer she was in her uniform. Her pant leg was practically falling off her. She held it up against her so the men couldn't see her leg and ran out of the tent. She was sick of it. She'd been put through all sorts of abuse, and there was no way she was going to put up with any more. She went to Klinger's tent and began to go through his dresses.  
  
'Are you alright?' Klinger asked when he followed her in. Izzy jumped, but didn't turn around.  
  
'Is it ok if I borrow a dress, or a skirt?' she asked Klinger. Klinger turned her around, and found she was crying a little bit.  
  
'Izzy, what's wrong?' he asked.  
  
'It's nothing,' Izzy said. 'I should have known this was going to happen when I found my uniform like this. I should have come to you for clothes in the first place. But I feel like a little kid, and I've been trying hard to tell everyone I'm not.' Klinger nodded, trying to look like he knew how she felt. Izzy took a few deep breaths, then turned back to the dress stand.  
  
'Go for the pink skirt,' Klinger said, taking a pale pink item down. 'I'm afraid I don't have anything that'll fit you to go with it, though.'  
  
'It's ok,' Izzy said hurriedly. 'I still have my top from when I arrived, remember? It'll look good with this.' She smiled thankfully at Klinger before looking down at the skirt in her hands. 'Uh, Klinger?' she said, holding it up to her waist. 'I think it might be a little big.'  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
There were a few unhappy double takes when Izzy walked into the mess tent with her off white top and Klinger's skirt.  
  
'That's not uniform,' was the general murmur around the tent.  
  
'Colonel! Parker is not wearing full uniform!' Frank screeched into Potter's ear.  
  
'No, I'm wearing civilian clothes, like what they wear back home,' Izzy corrected as she walked past. Potter glanced around seeing the dissatisfied looks on most of the men's faces.  
  
'Major Burns is right, sir,' Zale said from the table behind Potter. 'Private Parker should be punished.' A few of the other enlisted men nodded in agreement. Sighing, the Colonel stood up.  
  
'I understand,' he said, looking around to make sure he had everyone's attention, 'that you're not happy with what the Private is wearing. I saw what she'd been wearing for the last twenty eight hours, and honestly, I'm disgusted with you. I've talked to Izzy about her clothes, and I'm allowing her to wear them until her new uniform arrives, or her old one is returned. Anyone who tries to sabotage the clothes she has on now, will be on report. And if I ever find out who did what they did to Izzy in the first place, they'll be digging latrines for the rest of the war.' Hawkeye stood up as well.  
  
'As well as digging latrines for the Colonel, you'll be tied up and sent over to the other side of the front line, driven personally by me,' he said seriously. No-one said anything. Most had heard what Hawkeye had done to Captain Kaufmann, and some had seen the bruise and the x-ray of the man's chin.  
  
'Thank you, Pierce,' Potter said as both sat down.  
  
'And I never heard any of you complaining when someone else like Klinger is outta uniform, so there,' Izzy said loudly, collecting a tray and joining the line for her daily ration of slush. The nurses clapped, and some even called out encouragement to Izzy. The girl smiled to herself.  
  
Izzy, one.  
  
Men of the 4077th, zero. 


	47. A Problem

'OK, Gene, I'll see you tomorrow at 15 hundred hours,' Potter said as he hung up. Sighing, the man put his head in his hands, as if suffering a severe headache.  
  
'Yes sir?' Radar asked, without a word from the Colonel.  
  
'Get me Frank, Hawkeye, BJ, Margaret, Mulchay, Klinger and Izzy in here, pronto,' Potter said, without lifting his head. Radar nodded, and dashed out of the room. He sighed again, and thought about what he'd have to say to everyone. Izzy was first to arrive.  
  
'What's up?' she asked cheerfully as she came in.  
  
'You'd better start pouring drinks, Izzy, I think I few people will want them,' Potter said dully as Hawkeye and BJ came in. Izzy went to the liqueur cabinet, and kept her mouth shut. This didn't sound very promising.  
  
'Did I miss anything?' Father Mulchay asked as Izzy set down the glasses.  
  
'No, we haven't started yet, Father,' Hawkeye replied. Father Mulchay took one of the empty chairs in the room, and they waited until Radar came back with Klinger, Frank and Margaret.  
  
'I've just been on the phone with General Gene Russell,' Potter began. 'He's paying us a visit tomorrow afternoon, and I want to warn you of things to come.'  
  
'He can't be that bad,' Hawkeye said loudly. 'I mean, Steele was worse. He was nuts!'  
  
'Russell is one of the strictest Generals this side of the war. He doesn't accept alcohol, gambling, disobedience, practical jokes, people who talk back, and people part of the army that don't wear uniform,' Potter explained.  
  
'Would he give me a section eight if I turned up in a skirt?' Klinger asked.  
  
'Talk about a one track mind,' Izzy muttered, loud enough for everyone else to hear.  
  
'If you turn up in a dress, he will probably put you in front of a firing squad,' Potter warned. Izzy realised why she was asked to the meeting.  
  
'What am I going to do? No-one has returned my uniform back, and I can't walk around in my wreaked one! I bet he doesn't like untidiness either!' she exclaimed. Colonel Potter nodded.  
  
'I know, but there isn't a lot we can do, except maybe give you a day or two R and R,' he said. 'As for the rest of you, I want you to refrain from drinking, gambling, jokes, and lazing around out of uniform. This is important, and I won't be able to help you if you annoy Russell.'  
  
'It's like someone is controlling what goes on around here,' Hawkeye muttered loudly. 'Like a fic writer...'  
  
'What's that, Hawk?' Izzy asked. Hawkeye looked up.  
  
'Huh? Nothing, just talking to myself,' the man replied cheerfully, unaware he had said anything strange.  
  
'At any rate, we'd better warn the rest of the camp,' Potter continued, not paying attention to the two. Everyone stood up and left the office, except for Izzy.  
  
'Sir, what am I going to do?' she asked the Colonel.  
  
'Come see me tomorrow morning, and I'll see if I can't think of something,' Potter replied. Izzy nodded and slipped out.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
There was a knock on Izzy's door, and blearily, the girl answered it.  
  
'Yeah?' she asked, blinking against the early sunlight.  
  
'We've got you a new uniform,' Nurse Kellye said, pushing into the tent.  
  
'Huh?' Izzy asked, following the other nurse's in.  
  
'We've been through our things and found you bits of uniform for you to wear while General Russell is here,' Nurse Abbie said. Nurse Baker dropped a pile of clothes on Izzy's cot. Izzy sat on her foot locker and tried to figure out what was happening. It was another ten minutes before Izzy was fully awake and the nurse's were able to explain why they had woken the girl at such an early hour. Izzy grinned when she held up one of the nurse's old jackets.  
  
'Thanks a lot,' she said. It took them a while to figure out what fitted Izzy and what didn't, but in the end, Izzy had three new pairs of pants, two jackets which one was a size too big, and four shirts. Nurse Abbie had offered to look after the extra clothes so Izzy didn't have a repeat of when someone had stolen her old uniform. Izzy thanked the nurse's again as they slipped out into the morning sun, and she closed the door.  
  
'Let's see this Russell person kick me out of the army now,' Izzy grinned, looking at her new uniform.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Kooshball Note: Yes! A very bad Fic Writer joke in there, and I apologise for sticking it in there! I swear, I will never put another one in this fic ever again.  
  
A note to redlady27, I never really planed to say who stole Izzy's clothes, it was to be assumed by the reader that it was Zale and/or some of the other men around camp. But tell me who you thought it was, especially if you suspected someone else! 


	48. General Gene Russell

'Someone returned your uniform?' Hawkeye asked when he saw Izzy later on.  
  
'No, the nurse's got all their spare uniforms and I got to pick outta them what I needed,' Izzy replied, shrugging. The whole camp knew about Russell coming and it was a relief for them to see that Izzy finally had a new uniform. Although she wasn't as useful as some of the others, she was a part of the unit. Radar raced past the two before skidding to a halt.  
  
'General Russell is arriving,' he said breathlessly before running off again. Izzy bit her lip, and her hand strayed to her dogtags. It had become a habit of hers to play with them in her hands when she was nervous or scared.  
  
'I bet I'm no good for him anyway,' Izzy said.  
  
'You'll be better than me,' Hawkeye replied. 'Come on.' He led her away to the Swamp, and they sat down, trying not to wake BJ.  
  
'He's early, you know,' Izzy said, glancing at the sleeping man's watch.  
  
'Who? Russell? Yeah, I suppose he is,' Hawkeye said quietly, looking at the still standing Still. 'Suppose we'd better wake Beej and move the Still somewhere where Russell won't find it.'  
  
'Probably too late for that,' Izzy commented as they noticed Potter marching towards the Swamp with another man. She got up quickly, and covered the Still with a sheet. Although she didn't drink from it, the Still was part of the 4077th, like her, and there was no way she was going to let Russell get it. The General was short with graying hair, and a sour look on his face. Izzy nudged BJ awake as the two elderly men walked into the tent.  
  
'Attention!' Potter shouted. Hawkeye, BJ and Izzy reluctantly got to their feet and saluted. When the salute was returned, they sat down again.  
  
'Who are these three?' snapped Russell.  
  
'Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce, Captain BJ Hunnicutt and Private Izzy Parker,' Potter pointed to each in return.  
  
'What's a Private doing in officer's quarters?' Russell demanded. 'And why is that man so untidy?' He pointed to BJ.  
  
'I was asleep,' BJ said, unable to help himself.  
  
'And I was invited,' Izzy added, not wanted BJ to get into trouble for talking back.  
  
'Pierce, you're on Post op,' Potter broke in. He shot a warning look at the three, and held the Swamp door open for the General. Izzy got up with Hawkeye and they followed the Colonel and the General. BJ stayed in the Swamp, hoping to get some more sleep before dinner.  
  
'General, this is Major Burns,' Potter said when the four got inside the Post op. Frank saluted, and the General saluted back.  
  
'I've got to be going now, General. Must do some cleaning,' Frank said. 'You're late!' he hissed as he passed Hawkeye.  
  
'Don't forget, Klinger wanted fabric softener on his bras!' Hawkeye yelled rudely out after Frank. Potter gave Hawkeye a meaningful look before taking Russell to meet the nurse on duty. Izzy went to a bed in the corner, and read the chart there.  
  
'What does Parker actually do? She's too low a rank to be a nurse,' Russell said.  
  
'She helps around camp. She cooks, cleans and goes on guard duty every now and then,' Potter said as Hawkeye joined Izzy. Both strained their ears to hear what the General was saying about Izzy.  
  
'You have corpsmen for that,' Russell said. 'If she's no use to the unit, get rid of her!'  
  
'Hey!' Izzy exclaimed.  
  
'Keep out of this, Private!' Russell yelled. Hawkeye marched over to them.  
  
'Izzy is extremely useful! Sure, she's no good in surgery, and she tends to disappear when the bed pans need cleaning out, but she's a great help to the camp!' he told General Russell.  
  
'Oh boy,' Potter said quietly to himself, but no-one paid him any attention.  
  
'Do you realise who you are speaking to?' Russell demanded.  
  
'The most egotistic General in the army,' Izzy called out, not wanting to go down without a fight. Hawkeye and Russell began yelling things at each other, Izzy watching with interest. Suddenly, all three jumped when Potter roared at someone coming into the room.  
  
'KLINGER!'  
  
Izzy started laughing, and Hawkeye looked over to the doorway. Klinger way standing there, wearing his white wedding gown. Obviously, he thought he had a better chance in front of a firing squad than in the war.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Russell left the 4077th later that day, half believing he had hit his head at some point during his trip to the camp and the whole world had gone mad. He didn't court marshal anyone, or put anyone in front of a firing squad. Klinger didn't even get a discharge. News later got to the camp that Russell had been retired by a superior who believed he was no longer fit to be a part of the army. At the time, Russell had been wearing a late 1940's dress.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Kooshball Note: Although it never originally crossed my mind, Izzy and Radar will not get together, though thanks for the suggestion, Navriq. (I'm not very good at romances, that's the main reason why they will never get together). 


	49. Realization

Izzy took another glance at the watch she'd borrowed from Margaret.  
  
'Why do you keep looking at it? Did you get word the camp is gonna be overrun by Chinese at a certain time and you're not telling me or something?' Klinger asked. Again, he and Izzy were on guard duty.  
  
'No. But you keep doing the rounds, I'll be back in a second,' Izzy said.  
  
'Where are you going?' Klinger asked.  
  
'To see Hawkeye. It's been two hours since we started,' Izzy replied. Klinger smiled to himself as Izzy disappeared into the darkness around them. He shook his head. Izzy was a strange girl, though he didn't know the half of it.  
  
The knock on the Swamp's door came as a surprise to Hawkeye, BJ and Frank. Izzy slipped inside, and they were even more surprised.  
  
'What's wrong, Izzy?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'It's been two hours since I started guard duty,' Izzy explained. 'I came to see you.'  
  
'Humph,' Frank grumbled from his cot, and he rolled over.  
  
'You wanted to be treated like an adult,' BJ said.  
  
'Yeah, you're not a kid any more,' Hawkeye added.  
  
'I'm not a kid any more, but I'm a teenager,' Izzy replied. There was a pause. 'I still need looking after. You showed me that yesterday. General Russell would have sent me home if you hadn't stood up for me. Again.'  
  
'I would have stood up for you if you were eight, eighteen or eighty. You know that,' Hawkeye said, blinking to try and keep the tears out of his eyes. Izzy nodded, then left quietly.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
'Klinger,' Izzy said slowly when she finally got back.  
  
'Yeah?' the man replied, bending down to fix the hem of his skirt.  
  
'Does anyone know how I really got here?'  
  
'What?' The question startled Klinger. 'No, no one knows how you got here. You don't remember.' Izzy shook her head.  
  
'Never mind, then,' she said. So Radar had kept his word and hadn't told anyone about her crazy story of being from the year 2003.  
  
'No, what?' Klinger asked, trying to get the girl to talk more.  
  
'I know how I got here, sort of, but it's impossible. Completely, utterly impossible.'  
  
'How?'  
  
'You don't let up, do you?' Izzy said, smiling a little. Klinger shook his head. 'I was wondering if I should tell Hawkeye. If anyone, he has the most right to know.' Klinger nodded.  
  
'It's your choice,' he said, clearly disappointed.  
  
'It's strange, Hawkeye is the person who knows the least about me, but most people say he's the closest one to me,' Izzy said. Klinger nodded in agreement. He didn't know if Hawkeye knew less about Izzy than everyone else, but it was true that she was closest to him in the camp.  
  
'Talk to him,' he suddenly said. 'Tell him about yourself. How you got here, your past life where you stole to live. He'll understand.' Izzy nodded.  
  
'I will,' she replied. 'In the morning.'  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy was in the Swamp early, ages before any of the surgeons woke up. BJ was first to open his eyes, and he was a little worried when he saw Izzy pawing through Frank's bible. Without a sound, Izzy was lifting a few dollar notes from the pages, and she slipped it into her pocket. Next, she went to the helmet filled with cold water. BJ grinned, and threw a rolled up sock at Hawkeye's head, waking him. Quietly, he pointed to Izzy, who had crept back to Frank's cot. Suddenly, with one swift movement, she emptied the helmet's content's onto Frank's head. Hawkeye and BJ laughed loudly as Frank leapt up from his cot, his head soaking wet.  
  
'You... juvenile!' he exclaimed before running outside, most probably to complain to whoever would listen. Izzy had jumped when she heard Hawkeye and BJ laughing at her joke, but went back to where they were, and she sat on BJ's footlocker.  
  
'Guess I can't keep out of trouble around you guys,' she said, grinning.  
  
'What are you doing here so early in the morning anyway,' BJ asked. Izzy looked less cheerful.  
  
'I... wanted to talk to you. About my life in Australia,' Izzy said. Hawkeye frowned.  
  
'Why?' he asked, getting up and pulling his pants on over his shorts.  
  
'It's just something I need to do,' Izzy replied. She waited quietly until the two men were dressed, ready for the long day ahead. BJ fixed Hawkeye and himself their first martini's for the day, and they both sat and looked at Izzy.  
  
'You... you know I come from Sydney,' Izzy started, realizing how hard this was going to be. Both men nodded. 'You know I lived outta trash cans and such. Had to steal from people.'  
  
'What?' Hawkeye asked, sounding a little aghast.  
  
'I stole things from shops, then sold them. For money,' Izzy said. Hawkeye stood up after a moment, put his martin glass down, and marched out of the Swamp.  
  
'What happened?' Izzy asked, looking towards BJ.  
  
'I don't know. Come on,' the man replied, getting up as well. They followed Hawkeye to the Post op tent, which was blissfully empty that day.  
  
'Hawkeye, what's the matter with you?' BJ asked.  
  
'She lied to us, BJ,' Hawkeye said, pointing at Izzy.  
  
'What?' Izzy asked.  
  
'You stole things in Sydney, then sold them for money,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'I didn't have a choice!' Izzy said. She could see where this was heading. It was the same as all her friend's mothers turning on her after being kicked out of home, even the one's who she'd been really friendly with. BJ withdrew from the tent, realizing this was something Hawkeye and Izzy would have to work out for themselves.  
  
'I didn't do anything wrong!' Izzy continued.  
  
'Stealing isn't wrong?' Hawkeye asked sarcastically.  
  
'What about when I stole that hydrocortisone from the medical base in Seoul? How is that any different from me stealing in Sydney?' Izzy demanded.  
  
'That hydrocortisone saved fifteen men's lives!' Hawkeye said. 'That's how it was different!'  
  
'The money I got from the things I stole saved my life,' Izzy said, tears springing to her eyes. 'How is it any different?' Hawkeye was quiet for a few minutes. 'I was telling you because I thought you would understand,' Izzy said to fill in the quiet.  
  
'But you lied about it,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'No, I didn't. I just didn't tell you about my past life. I didn't want you to think of me as a bad person, because I stole to keep myself alive. I figured you'd be sympathetic. I was wrong,' Izzy said.  
  
'Izzy!' Hawkeye called as she turned and ran out of the tent, blinded by tears. Izzy headed towards her tent. There was a horn blast from a jeep to her right, and she turned, almost in slow motion, to see a jeep heading straight for her. It struck her hard, sending her flying into the ground. She hit her head on a rock embedded into the earth, and felt herself begin to black out. She heard Hawkeye call her name out again, then, there was nothing. 


	50. Decisions

Izzy was in a dark, black hallway. Either end were two doors, both made from glass. Behind one door, was Sydney. She could see the Opera house and the Habour bridge. The second door was covered in dust from a war zone behind it, bombs going off every few seconds, and dull booms sounding from it. She headed for the Sydney door, but her hand paused over the door knob.  
  
'What about Hawkeye and BJ, and everyone else?' she asked herself.  
  
She glanced back at the other door, and went to it. Without opening it, she peered through the dust on the other side. She had no idea where it was, but it could be Korea. Izzy sighed and sat in the middle of the corridor. Somehow, she knew whichever life she choose, it would be for ever. She'd never get a chance like this again. She began to weigh up her options.  
  
'What to do?' she asked herself.  
  
'Sydney is home to me. I was born there, I grew up there, I have friends there. I've lived out a fantasy, now it's time to go home.' Izzy glanced towards the bright lights of the city.  
  
'No one loved me in Sydney. I had few friends, most who'd probably have given me up for dead by now. Hawkeye, BJ and the rest of them adore me back there. They respect me.  
  
'But I could die in Korea. There are always bombs going off, Koreans running around, death all over the place.  
  
'But I can't live in Sydney any more. Stealing is no way to make a living. How long do you think that'll last?  
  
'I'm not even sure that that is Korea out that other door. It could be Vietnam or World War Two for all I know. It'd be safer to stick with what I know.'  
  
Izzy curled up into a ball, fighting between herself about the decision she had to make. She knew she couldn't stay there much longer, time to bite the bullet and pick a door. Izzy stood up, took another long look at each door, then turned to one of them. She paused at it for a few seconds, then turned the knob and fell through, to face the life she'd chosen.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy looked around. Sydney didn't seemed to have changed. Seeing a newsagents nearby, she went in and checked the newspapers on the shelves. Only a few months had passed since she'd gone to Korea. Izzy smiled to herself, and looked around. No-one would believe her story. Her friends would think she was either on drugs or crazy. Izzy's stomach jumped at the word. Klinger was always trying to convince everyone he was crazy. Izzy trailed around, and saw an elderly man walking in front of her, a wallet poking out from his back pocket. She sneaked forward and reached out for the brown leather wallet, hoping her time away hadn't damaged her performance. She was pulling it out slowly, when the man turned around and grabbed her wrist.  
  
'You don't think I'm going to have my money stolen for the third time this week, do you?' he demanded. Izzy stared defiantly into the man's blue eyes, and was surprised to see the eyes soften, in a confused sort of way.  
  
'Izzy?' the man asked.  
  
Izzy's heart jumped.  
  
'Hawkeye?' she asked.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Kooshball Note: Yes, I know, back to where it doesn't make any scientific sense. Oh well.  
  
Not the end! Did Izzy make the right decision? Find out in the next chapter! 


	51. The truth

Izzy knew that her mind had made up the scenario in Sydney. She had more sense than to believe there was even the slightest chance of her seeing Hawkeye ever again.  
  
Which is why she chose the Korean door.  
  
Izzy's eyes shot open and she gasped for air.  
  
'Izzy,' Hawkeye said thankfully, looking pale and worried.  
  
'It's a miracle,' Margaret said to on one in particular.  
  
'What?' Izzy half gasped.  
  
'You stoped breathing. We thought we'd lost you,' BJ said. Izzy glanced around quickly. One of those black resuscitation bags was on the ground beside her, and there were people collecting around her, but she ignored them.  
  
'I think I need to lay down,' she said, feeling slightly sick.  
  
'Come on.' Hawkeye helped her up and kept close to her, as if to protect her from everyone. Izzy leant gratefully against him as he led her to her tent. No one followed the two on instructions from BJ.  
  
Hawkeye eased Izzy onto her cot and sat on her footlocker.  
  
'Izzy, I'm sorry,' he said after a while. The girl looked up, a little startled, but Hawkeye went on. 'I shouldn't have gone off like that, it was stupid. If it kept you alive, then stealing was ok, I suppose,' he said. Izzy opened her mouth, but Hawkeye stopped her by holding up a hand. 'I guess it was a shock to hear it, even though I'd know you'd been kicked out of home and unable to get a job. It was probably obvious to everyone else that you stole for a living, except me. It's my fault you almost died.'  
  
'Hawkeye, it doesn't matter. What's done is done. I don't hate you for how you reacted. If there was someone I loved like how you love me, and I found they did something like that, I'd probably be hurt and yell at them as well. But don't beat yourself over it. It wasn't your fault,' Izzy said. Hawkeye looked up at Izzy and he moved forward and hugged her.  
  
'Thanks Izzy,' he whispered in her ear.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy woke up later on, to find flowers at the end of her cot. They were weeds, sure, but they were still pretty. She wasn't sure who left them, but she was almost positive it was Hawkeye. Felling a little dizzy still, Izzy considered staying in bed, but decided that she had to talk to Hawkeye, no matter what. Getting up, she staggered to the door and opened it. Outside, it was starting to darken, and Izzy paused to wonder how long she'd been asleep. No-one seemed to be around, so she headed towards the Officer's club. That was empty too. It suddenly hit her that she'd heard choppers earlier, and everyone was probably still in OR. She began walking towards the building, feeling a little unwell at the blood stained dirt under her feet. Yep, wounded had definitely come in recently. She grabbed a mask outside the OR, put it around her head, and went in.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Considering the time Izzy had spent in Korea, this was her second time in the OR where she wasn't a patient. The white doctors were all hunched over their separate patients, and none of them noticed the girl come in. Izzy cleared her throat, making everyone look up.  
  
'Izzy?' Hawkeye asked, glancing back down at his patient. 'What are you doing here?'  
  
'I'm here to help,' Izzy replied, feeling the blood draining from her face as some corpsmen took a body away.  
  
'Well, we're almost finished, Izzy. Appreciate the offer, though,' Potter replied. Izzy nodded, almost grateful.  
  
'I'll be in the Swamp,' she said, turning to leave.  
  
'Wait a minute, Izzy. How many more, Margaret?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'Just one more,' the head nurse replied.  
  
'I'll handle it, Hawk, you go clean up,' BJ replied. Hawkeye nodded, and followed Izzy out. Izzy breathed out a sigh of relief as Hawkeye took his surgical gown off, and pulled his jacket on.  
  
'Why'd you really come to OR?' Hawkeye asked, holding the door open for Izzy.  
  
'I wanted to tell you the truth,' Izzy replied. Hawkeye opened his mouth, but decided against saying anything. Quietly, they headed to Izzy's tent.  
  
'Hawkeye... I have to finish telling you the truth. Finish telling you what I tired to tell you this morning, before... well, anyway,' Izzy said, stumbling on her own words. Hawkeye nodded, all his attention on the girl. Izzy bit her lip, took a few deep breaths and tried again.  
  
'Hawkeye, I'm not from this time.'  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Kooshball Note: Wow, I can't believe how many people I had worried! From here, I can almost hear the sighs of relief that came from all around the world as everyone realised Izzy chose the Korea door.  
  
LadyoftheLlamas, it's good to see you didn't sic your computer-programming- ninjas-who-ride-llamas-who-wear-paint-brushes (the llamas, not the ninjas). They would have made it difficult for me to concentrate on this chapter! 


	52. Izzy's POV

Kooshball Note: Sorry I haven't updated for a while. I went on holidays and couldn't get to the internet. But I'm back now!  
  
By the way, Triforce Knight, it was a good theory about what was going to happen. I was going to do something along those lines (Hawkeye and Izzy had to say sorry to each other somehow) but it didn't work.  
  
And sorry to everyone that found chapter 50 confusing.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
~Izzy's POV~  
  
As you know, I came here from Sydney, though I don't know how. Still don't, really. My life in Sydney wasn't all great, or exotic like every seems to think it is. It's just another big city. Like all cities, there are homeless, drunks, insane people, the lot. I was one of the homeless kids, stealing to survive. I never stole from anyone who looked like they couldn't afford it, like the other homeless kids, but just from people who had too much money anyway. I don't know, maybe it was you that helped me not steal from the drunks, or other people who were temporarily dead to the world. That sounds strange now, but give me a minute to explain.  
  
Anyway, I joined a group, the FFD. You might remember Flagg carrying on about that before, though no-one mentioned what it meant. It stands for 'Five Finger Discount', another name for stealing, I guess. Taken from a TV show, and modeled to fit out needs. We'd steal a lot of things and at the end of the week, sell them and split the money. Last job I did I screwed up. I grabbed a camera at the wrong time, you see. Snatched it as the owner of the shop turned around to face me. I ran, I had no choice. Someone in the street accidentally blocked the shop keeper, and I ran onto the road, before being hit by a car. Next thing I remember, I wake up, ready to be operated on you.  
  
Ok, Sidney Freedman told me that maybe I just blocked out all that had happened to me in between being in Sydney and coming here, but that's impossible. You see, Hawkeye, I was living in the year 2003. I came back through time. No, not back through time, but maybe into another parallel universe. I can understand why you're looking at me like that, I must sound like I'm crazy. Klinger would probably do anything to give this story a go with Colonel Potter. I know this has to be a parallel universe, or something, because back home, in 2003, this MASH unit was an old TV series, made in the 1970's. Based mainly around you, and everyone at camp. M*A*S*H, the TV series, that's what it was called, was the only thing I truly loved in life. You seemed so interested in the wellbeing of others, and I wished it was me you were looking out for.  
  
I know you probably aren't accepting this explanation, but I swear, it's true. No doubt, you'll probably get Sidney in again, or send me away to the funny farm down the road, but if that's what you think is best for me, then that's what's best.  
  
The strange this is, when I was hit by that jeep earlier today, I had a choice. I could go home, or I could come home. That doesn't make much sense to you, I can tell by the look you're giving me, so let me explain that a little better.  
  
Sydney was my first home. I was born there, grew up there, and spent my childhood there. You're probably wondering why I chose to come back here, if what I'm saying is true. In Sydney, both my parents are dead, my father had died just before I was born, and my mother died two or three weeks after I was kicked out of home. Funnily enough, it was from a drug overdose. Because there were drugs found in my room by my mother, I was kicked out, kind of ironic when you think about it. Or maybe she just had a problem. Anyway, I rambling.  
  
Here, with the 4077th, I found a family, and learnt to cope with stuff I'd never had have to put up with back in Sydney. I feel more at home here than anywhere else, even before I was kicked out of home.  
  
I don't know why I didn't tell you all of this when I first got here, probably because I was scared you'd send me to a psychiatrist, or you'd think I was just another Klinger, trying to get out on a section eight.  
  
I... I guess I just wanted to be accepted. 


	53. Understanding

Hawkeye ran his hand through his hair. Izzy's story was strange, and didn't make a whole heap of sense to him, but he didn't want to have to put her through it again. Maybe she'd hit her head a little harder than they thought.  
  
Izzy could tell Hawkeye didn't believe her by the look on his face, but she didn't care. She'd got it all out of her system, and Hawkeye knew about her. Sure, it would probably start rumours around camp that she was insane, and get her sent home, but there wasn't anything she could do about that.  
  
'BJ said that before you threw that water on Frank that you took some of Ferret Face's money,' Hawkeye began tactfully. 'Why...?'  
  
'Why'd I do it?' Izzy asked. She smiled a little. 'I "collect" money for Father Mulchay for the orphans. Just from Frank and other people I don't like. Those marines that were here a few weeks ago donated about fifty dollars through me. Plus, it keeps me in practise just in case I get sent home and have to take up stealing again.' Hawkeye smiled, feeling better. Izzy still seemed sane to him. Maybe the whole "from the future" thing was just a joke. It wouldn't be a first for someone to try and pull a fast one on him. Deciding not to dwell on it, Hawkeye burst into a huge grin.  
  
'Come on, let's go get some dinner. You look hungry,' he said. Izzy nodded and followed Hawkeye out of the tent. Halfway across the dark compound, they passed Frank.  
  
'Hey, Frank,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'G'day,' Izzy added from habit.  
  
'None of your business, you Austrian Nazi!' Frank yelled before hurrying to the Swamp.  
  
'Since when is "G'day" Austrian? I'm from Australia!' Izzy asked Hawkeye, annoyed. Hawkeye laughed, and led her into the Mess tent.  
  
'Frank's just annoyed because Margaret rang Donald last night and they're getting married tomorrow,' Hawkeye explained. Izzy stopped.  
  
'Really?' she asked with interest.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
The war continued for another year or so, and in this time Izzy saw Margaret get married, Frank go crazy, Charles come to the 4077th, Margaret get divorced from Donald, Radar go home and Klinger give up his section eight. She was still no good in surgery, never got a taste for martinis from the Still and never mentioned the year 2003 again to anyone in the camp, except BJ, who took it the same way as Hawkeye, thought Izzy must really be a little nuts. Izzy had settled down into the 4077th, and almost forgot it was a TV show, so it was a shock when Hawkeye was taken away for psychiatric analysis. This meant the coming of the end of the war. She heard the rumours of the peace talks after Hawkeye was taken away, and she readied herself for everything that was due to come. She went with BJ to the psychiatric ward where Hawkeye was, and while BJ sneaked in gin to Hawkeye, Izzy had a talk to Sidney.  
  
'The end of the war is near,' she said sullenly.  
  
'You make it sound like a bad thing,' Sidney remarked.  
  
'It's not,' Izzy said hurriedly. 'It's just that... I don't want to go back to Australia. Sure, I'm a year older now, but I still don't have an education, and won't be able to get a job. I don't have family, or friends, not for another forty years at least, and even then I'll be into my sixties.'  
  
'You still believe you're from the future?' Sidney asked.  
  
'How do you think I know the war is going to end?' Izzy asked.  
  
'The rumours. Wishful thinking,' Sidney offered.  
  
'I know what you're going to do with Hawkeye,' Izzy said. 'I agree with you, sending him back to the 4077 will be the best thing for him.' She stood up. 'When BJ comes out, tell him I'll be wandering around outside.' Sidney nodded and headed for Hawkeye's room. Then he stopped. He hadn't told anyone of his decision yet, he wasn't even sure if it was the right one. How did she know about it? Sidney shook his head. Maybe he should offer her therapy as well as Hawkeye. At least that way Hawkeye and Izzy would be together while they were locked up away from everyone else.  
  
Izzy went outside and sat under a tree. Although she knew what was going to happen, she was scared about Hawkeye. What if her being there changed everything? What if Sidney decided to send Hawkeye home instead of back to camp? She jumped when BJ put his hand on her shoulder.  
  
'Come on, we better head back to camp,' he said. Izzy nodded, standing up.  
  
'What did they say? Hawkeye and Sidney?' Izzy demanded when they got to their jeep.  
  
BJ just shook his head. 


	54. Offers

Koosh Note: Yes, people have picked it, the end is coming soon. And someone mentioned that chapter 53 was a little hurried, and I'm sorry about that, but I can't remember a lot of the details. Especially when it comes to "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen" (I've watched it once), so sorry about any lack of detail in the coming chapters.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy kept out of everyone's way as the end of war rumours became more intense, and the camp was overrun by wounded. She made a note to herself to avoid the latrines, and she kept a close eye on BJ to see when he was told he could leave. She didn't have to wait long.  
  
'Izzy, I'm going home!' BJ said, bursting into her tent. Izzy looked up from taking her pictures of the tent walls.  
  
'I know,' she replied mildly.  
  
'As in now,' BJ said.  
  
'I know,' Izzy repeated. She got down from her foot locker, and hugged BJ. 'Radar wasn't the only person to know what was going to happen before it happened.'  
  
'I'm going to miss you, Izzy,' BJ said.  
  
'We'll see each other real soon, I promise,' Izzy replied, pulling away from BJ's hug again.  
  
'What are you going to do after the war?' BJ asked suddenly.  
  
'What?' Izzy asked, a little surprised.  
  
'Were you going to go back to Australia, or what?' BJ said.  
  
'I hadn't thought it out,' Izzy said slowly.  
  
'Come home with me. Erin would love a big sister, I know it,' BJ said.  
  
'I'm a little old to be adopted,' Izzy reminded the man.  
  
'Not a proper adoption, but you can live with us. Erin will look up to you as her big sister, or Aunt or whatever you want to be, and we'll look after you, and everything,' BJ said earnestly. Izzy thought about it for a little while. She needed a home, and BJ was offering her one.  
  
'I'll think about it,' she said. 'If I do come, I'll come after the war is finished. It'll be hard on the camp to be missing another doctor without their messenger girl gone too.' BJ nodded and ran out, probably to ring Peg and just check it was ok with her. Izzy went back to taking the pictures off the walls. The real reason she didn't want to go just yet was so she could talk to Hawkeye the second he was back in camp. He'd be annoyed with BJ for leaving, even though he would come back due to not catching his plane, and Izzy didn't need him angry at her as well. Taking the last picture down, she rolled up her patchwork quilt and put it in her rucksack, ready to go at a moments notice.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy was in Rosie's, not quite sober. Although she hated the taste of the Still, she had found Rosie sold a fruit flavoured alcohol with a decent amount of liqueur in it. Many times, she'd drunk too much and had been found passed out by someone, usually in Klinger's office or in the corner of the Swamp. It's how Charles met Izzy and found out about her life, or at least, as much as everyone else knew. That's where the Major found Izzy that night, drowning her sorrows in the darkest corner of Rosie's bar.  
  
'G'day, Charles' Izzy slurred a little. Charles cleared his throat.  
  
'I have a proposition for you, Izzy,' he said. 'You have no home in Australia, so I want you to come to Boston. With me.' Izzy looked up, the words taking a little while to register with her.  
  
'What?' she asked.  
  
'You can stay with my sister, and she will educate you, and you become a nurse, or anything you want to be,' Charles said earnestly. Although she couldn't see straight, Izzy realised that Charles must like her a lot to offer her a home within his family. After all, she was only a street urchin.  
  
'Why?' Izzy demanded. 'How am I good enough for your family?'  
  
'My dear Izzy, it is my duty as a Winchester to take care of the lower class man,' Charles said. Izzy fixed him with a stare that told him that she wasn't buying it, no matter how many of him there were floating around. 'Alright,' Charles hissed. 'I care for you! I worry about how you are going to live when the war is over!'  
  
'That's all you had to say,' Izzy said, managing a smile. 'I'll think about it, ok? When I'm sober and my hangover had gone, I'll think about it. You're not the only one to ask me to come home with you.'  
  
'That's all I ask you to do, is think about it,' Charles said. 'Now let's get you to bed, you've had way too much to drink.'  
  
'I'm fine,' Izzy said, trying to wave Charles away, but only succeeding in hitting the bar. Charles took a firm hold of Izzy's arm, and took her back to her tent to sleep the alcohol off. 


	55. Goodbye, Farewell and Amen, Izzy

Half hidden in the "background" of the 4077th, Izzy watched Hawkeye come back, Father Mulchay lose his hearing, Charles teach the POW's how to play home made instruments, saw the latrines get destroyed, twice, BJ come back, Klinger fall in love with Soon Lee and the fights between Hawkeye and BJ. She'd learnt long ago to let everything go as it was meant to. Finally, the last meal in the Mess tent was held, where the rumours of the wars end was confirmed and everyone stood up and said what they planned to do after they got home. Izzy waited until last.  
  
'I haven't been here as long as some of you, and longer than the rest of you. You all know have no home back in Australia, and you want to know what's going to happen to me,' Izzy said. 'In the last few days, I've been offered a few homes, by Colonel Potter, BJ, a few nurses, Charles, Hawkeye of course, and even Klinger who wants me to help him and Soon Lee to find her parents. But before I tell you my plans, I'd like to tell you how great you all are, because I might not get another chance to. I couldn't have made it in this war without all of you, and I'll miss everyone of you. Except Hawkeye, who I'm going home with tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll get to see you all in the States in the years after the war, well and with your families.' Izzy sat down, and gave a few grateful glances to the people around her.  
  
Hawkeye, BJ, Klinger, Charles, Margaret, Father Mulcahy, Colonel Potter. Her heart ached to think that she'd probably never see most of them again.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Izzy watched everyone dive at the signpost, looking for their home towns. Klinger and Soon Lee had gone, and everyone else would soon be leaving. She picked up her rucksack and went to the signpost, where there were only two left. She picked up the "Sydney" one that had been added some six months before, leaving the one marked Seoul to be abandoned. Looking around, she saw everyone saying good bye, so she waited. Eventually, Hawkeye and BJ came over, and BJ offered them a ride on his motor bike to the chopper pad, where a chopper was waiting to take Hawkeye and Izzy to the Seoul airport then to the states. Up on the chopper pad, Izzy watched them hug each other good bye, and BJ speed down the hill on his bike. As the chopper lifted from the ground, Hawkeye refused to look back where BJ had been waiting.  
  
'Look down,' Izzy yelled over the sound of the chopper. Grudgingly, Hawkeye looked down and gasped, seeing "Goodbye" spelt out in the rocks.  
  
'He promised me he'd keep in touch and come see us as often as he was allowed,' Izzy shouted. Hawkeye, tears in his eyes, nodded to show he heard. Izzy sat back in her seat, wondering about her new life. Would it be exciting? Boring? Eventful? Funny? Long? Short? She didn't know, but she did know was that it was better than living off the street and she made the right choice coming back to Korea.  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Koosh Note: It may seem finished, but I have a little extra in mind... 


	56. 51 years later

~ SYDNEY, 2003 ~  
  
'I can't believe you brought me here,' Izzy mumbled, staring out the taxi window. Hawkeye just smiled in reply.  
  
'This your first time in Sydney?' the taxi driver asked after a pause of silence.  
  
'Yep,' Hawkeye replied.  
  
'I was born here,' Izzy said without looking up.  
  
'You make a nice couple,' the driver continued.  
  
'We're not married,' Hawkeye said hurriedly.  
  
'Hawkeye's more like an older brother to me. My husband is back in the states, in Maine,' Izzy added. The driver nodded, and pulled to a stop.  
  
'Seven dollars fifty,' he said. Izzy paid the man and they got out into the street.  
  
'I can't believe I'm back,' Izzy said, looking around.  
  
'51 years to the day since we met,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'You can't count it as meeting, I was conscious for about thirty seconds,' Izzy argued. She sighed as she looked around again. 'It's like being home again.' Now about 70, Izzy had changed in appearance dramatically. Her hair had gone a silvery white, and her eyes behind her glasses had faded a little bit in colour. Hawkeye still looked exactly the same, save for his hair was now grey and a few wrinkles on his face.  
  
'You don't regret not going home with BJ or one of the others, do you Izzy?' Hawkeye asked. Izzy recognized the worried tone.  
  
'Why would I be?' Izzy said.  
  
'Well, it's been a boring fifty or so years, hasn't it?' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Not really,' Izzy said. 'I mean, I got to meet your dad, and I made you keep in touch with the others.'  
  
'But I didn't offer you an education like I should have. Or a family. Charles would have given you the best education possible, and BJ could have given you a family,' Hawkeye said.  
  
'Yeah,' Izzy admitted slowly, 'but I didn't want that. I wanted to be with you. I don't care I never got a proper education, school wasn't really my thing. And you and Daniel were enough family for me anyway.'  
  
'I guess,' Hawkeye said grudgingly.  
  
'Hey,' Izzy said, wrapping an arm around Hawkeye's shoulders. 'I don't regret anything, and never will, ok? Not being kicked outta home, not driving Frank Burns up the wall, not coming home with you instead of one of the others, and not anything. You just remember that.' Hawkeye grinned, like his old self. They continued up the road a little bit, Izzy smiling at all the things she recognized. For a few minutes, she felt like she was 18 again.  
  
'Hey, did you see that?' Hawkeye suddenly asked, pulling on Izzy's arm. Izzy turned around in time to see the door of an electronics store close. She sort of gasped, and gripped tightly onto Hawkeye's arm.  
  
'Did you see her?' Hawkeye asked.  
  
'No, but I know that shop,' Izzy replied. They watched the shop for a few minutes until a tall girl with dark blonde hair ran out. She had a Polaroid camera in one hand, and her brown eyes were searching for away out of the messy situation she'd got herself into. The shop owner emerged a few seconds later. As they two running people neared, Izzy suddenly stepped in front of the shop keeper. There were a few moments where the two tried to get around each other, but Izzy finally stepped back. Hawkeye watched all of this with a kind of fascination.  
  
'He would have caught me before I ran onto the road, if someone hadn't stepped into his way,' Izzy mumbled to Hawkeye. The two started to walk up the street, behind them chaos breaking lose as the girl with the Polaroid ran onto the road and was hit by a car.  
  
'Happy birthday, Izzy,' Hawkeye said.  
  
Izzy just nodded, ignoring the tears falling down her face, and unconsciously started to hum the tune to "Suicide is Painless".  
  
**~~*~~*~~*~~**  
  
Koosh Note: Ok, NOW it's finished.  
  
I'm sorry to the Radar, Father Mulchay, Colonel Potter and Charles fans that those four characters didn't get mentioned as much as they deserve. Especially Charles, I think I could have had a lot of fun introducing him to Izzy and getting them to know each other.  
  
A big thanks to everyone who reviewed. Getting to read your responses to each chapter helps a lot, and in the cases of being threatened with ninjas- who-ride-llamas and having computer-created rotting vegetables thrown at me, encouraged me to write more as I had received the reactions I had wanted. :)  
  
I know at least one person didn't want this fic to finish (me), but as the cast and crew of the TV series realised, it can't go on forever. There will be a sort of a sequel, it's gonna be called "Five ways to write a fic" and it'll have Izzy in it. 


End file.
